Isle of Skye

'O Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, then help me to remember that Your love is always greater than my disappointments and Your plans for my life are always better than my dreams.' ~ Imam Ali (a.s.) Have I ever mentioned how much I love Imam Ali (a.s.)? I mean, of course, we all do. His vibration is way too high for those of us with pure hearts and intentions to not love him, or at least carry an admiration and respect for him on some level. That we would understand his calibre. And then there are those who love him much more than I could ever dream possible. But I love him, too. To bits. Lots and lots and lots. In my very unique and powerful way. Every time I'm down, I may not even ask Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.w.) for help - and that's not due to any other reasons except that I know he's cool with that. My calling on Ali is of course, my calling on Muhammad. Ils sont tous les mêmes. Le même esprit. For me, it's firs...

This deserves a separate post. Of course, there are no accidents. Everything comes at the right time. I was meant to see this photo now, after all that pleading. It made me chuckle :) http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v452/jdcrow/AllahBear.jpg I'm not even bothering to find out anything about the motivations behind this bear. All I know is, Allah is in the house. And I am safe. And I am loved. And I am protected. And I am guided? Perhaps.

One can hope. And one can once again ask Allah: please stop bringing stupid-head people and situations in my life. I hate their judgement, their empty words and their assumptions about me. Why are they being so blind? Do I really treat other people like that? Of course. And I am sorry. I don't know why I still do it. I'm trying so very, very hard. So hard, I am. So hard. And I can tell, because I am getting annoyed by my own self once again, that I must really be stepping on the toes of other people. I don't want to do that. I only reach out because I see it as connecting. And behaving opposite to my regular behaviour patterns of hiding away like a hurt turtle. And I'm so lonely and I need more real-life people in my life. Sane people. feather dusters. I'm so tired of all the people who are lessons and lessons and lessons..... why are there no enjoyable lessons? I may have angels and spirit guides around me, but can I see them? Can I sense th...

Dear Adele, May you be blessed with inspiration, creativity, music, that voice... and may I be able to tap into all of those talents and make them my own. If you can do it, I can bloody well do it in my own way as well. Thanks and best of luck x I have been playing this song constantly today. My only anchor. A great way to channel my unbridled passions, anger, frustration, yearnings, frustration and exasperation and general fed upness with people and life. And I'm trying to get rid of the last lingering thoughts of him - why on earth won't they DIE already? 11 months after the catastrophic day he messaged me on 23rd August and still... Gabriele started "liking" my cat display pics and... it reminded me of when Imran would click "Like" to things I posted, my status, my photos. Which I then deleted and reposted again, so I didn't have a trace of him left. He frigging annoyed me so much I only went and did all that crazy stuff. And after all o...

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXzmTeWJLOJnL4aav0XDTNtj5VdbG6kuSoQpqKaFaTdAMz2KWzRxLkRW3hCpWmaPf0chgFWFDkZKdsvLAyWnrMK-_s0f6lUlVf6eaTRDq0KXRQsYjb8MrL5VkI594I4wRhGiEKMzRgS78/s400/youdon%2527tknowme..jpg Can everybody in the entire multiverse take a minute to understand what I mean when I say or do something? The true authentic energy is behind all my emails and words. Stop misunderstanding me and assuming things about me. And projecting onto me. And doing it so regularly that it truly makes me wonder why on Earth we bother with one another. I mean, one of my closest friends misunderstands me on such a regular basis, I truly, truly, truly wonder... why would I attract these misunderstandings? Why? Why does she still see me as weak, stupid, childish, naive and blind and ignorant? Why does she assume things about me? Why does she honestly still believe I am that same shit-head I was all those years I couldn't get out of the overwhelm of all those...

The lover and companion and soulmate cards I draw just make me laugh now. Muhahahaha! Having said that, I know that this will happen for me when I am ready for something that I or he won't sunbconsciouolsy sabotage because we both behaved like dumbasses. I'm done with that pattern. Très cliché. Doesn't look like it's happening tomorrow, at least. Pity. In other news, why do people have to be so mean? And both people who were really not good to someone who might have either been a prospective client or would have referred them were life coaches. Well, if they either send me cold replies to my friendly emails or don't bother responding to one I sent when really down and lost - honestly, they are no good for me. I supportive "Oh I am so sorry to hear this" would have been nice. I obviously triggered major stuff in their energy fields and egos. Once I can pinpoint it, I can then figure how to release the sore spots that got me triggered off as aresult o...

Okay, so even though I allowed a temporary lower vibration get the better of me yesterday, I'm writing down all the high points of last week. 14 June - Saturday: Surprise rock climbing adventure for my last life coaching course with Liz Foster. I went up four times and reached the top three times. On a challenging slab, I apparently made a "very technical move" according to the instructor. I really enjoyed it because it was an achievable goal, I am very good at it, something I have been wanting to do and something NEW for the month of June. It didn't even occur to me to feel afraid or give up. (I feel "normal"). I even grazed my knee (sports injury - w00t!) Tuesday: Kept my appointment with the lady at Wimbledon Guild. She seemed very impressed with my CV and took me on. It was actually easy. I offered to volunteer for the Wimbledon Village Fair that Saturday. Seemed really appreciative, showed me around and then kept saying I am a whizz at admin and pow...

This is how out of tune I am. Sidra asked me to help her with something. I was quite satisfied with my effort. She sent me the final, already published thing for her workshop. She couldn't find a single sentence of mine that was suitable for her. So why did I bother? Because she asked me, and I thought I was helping. I thought I was actually helping and doing something that mattered. The other post I was going to write about my feeling so good yesterday and the small synchronicities I am noticing - all of a sudden, it just doesn't seem to matter. It's nothing big. I'm the one who can't even get a job in a pet store. They refused my application on Friday morning, 8am. I should have spent another day on it. I have resorted to junk food over eating again. What bloody emotions am I still not dealing with? I feel so much more joyful, and the craving and the eating never stops. I guess I need to give myself some major healing today. I am way too lit up. I ...

Situation As It Is   Seven of Cups   Full Meaning: Some Keywords for the Seven of Cups Tarot Card Meaning: * Choice * Illusion * Variety * Expansion * Recollection * Judgment * Awareness * Observation * Discernment * Manifestation * Understanding * Diversification * Compartmentalization We can look at the seven of cups Tarot card meaning in a myriad of ways. This card inundates us with a mass of interpretive possibilities. When a card like this comes fully loaded with so many possible meanings, it's best to revert back to symbolic foundations. To wit, we know the symbolic meaning of the suit of cups deals with the realm of emotion, intuition, empathy. We also know cups are affiliated with the powerful element of water. Water symbolism carries with it the concept of rebirth and cleansing. A little meditation and research will help us with the symbolic meaning of clouds. Clouds conjure ideas, dreams, thought...

...what would it be and why? I laughed out loud with appreciation and joy when I finally got to this question on the application form. Finally. A job I would love to get. Still nowhere near what I know I could do if everything fell into place in my lap, pre-ordained. And yet... I really pray that I get this job. Doing the best I can. Trusting in Allah... not waiting for arbitrary good times like a full moon, that was yesterday. Just trusting in Allah that I get a job that doesn't hurt my pride or dignity or self-respect. I'm sorry, I just don't want to be a cleaner. And I deserve what I want and why the hell can I not aim high and expect You'll give it to me? You gave me ENLP and that was something I didn't even know to want. You gave me Farhat Aunty who was the means for my hope and for my financial kick-start for the courses. You brought me here to London and in a year you've granted me my sanity back. You've given me friends when I...

Just know, dear Allah, all that I have in my heart, I want you to answer. Soon. I know you will. But soon. I want some clarity tomorrow morning. I cling to You and Your rope... Honestly.... help me make sense of it all. Allow me access to the beauty of your wisdom, knowledge, gifts and abundance. Help me manifest it all. And please let me really be generous and stop being fearful and stingy about my gifts and knowledge. I still suffer from the illusion that by sharing it with others, I lose it, I become less special and powerful and blessed and gifted. x

This is it! Not only is this the third male cousin of mine who has travelled to Karachi and gets his nikah recited after two weeks. I already have issues with that because it has been and is currently so bloody ridiculously challenging for me and for the people I love to find their life partner and get married. But what hit me was that her name is Sukaina, as is his sister-in-law's and as is MINE! There are WAY too many Sukainas in the world. And there are way too many Sukaina Jumas in the world. I should know: I'm the person who keeps searching my name on Google, Skype and Facebook. And, up until this very moment, I thought I was the only Skye Jacques. And then I had to search, didn't I? https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001618292031 The easy bit is getting rid of Juma. I've hated that name for ages, because it's not me. It's the family name, the father's name, the ancestral name which has no bearing on me. It's got nowt to do with ...

Dear Sukaina, I'm so sorry that you chose to lower your vibration yesterday. I'm so sorry that you chose to think, speak and act according to old, outdated, useless patterns that aren't even yours. I'm so sorry that you are still so unforgiving and resentful of Imran Lakha, that you still hold a furious disdain towards yourself for being attracted to, and attracting, all of him, all of that. That you still punish yourself in subconscious ways for discounting yourself with him, and with many other people in your life (past and present), for being completely obsessed and addicted that, ten months after you would have liked to have been done with his memory altogether, you still think of him. I am so sorry that you lead yourself to follow, resist and get stuck in the thoughts. I'm so sorry that you still haven't learned the lessons you signed up for avec le père et la mère. I am so sorry that you have such a low resonance and vibration that you cannot acc...

Beware of unconsciously expecting friends and intimates to be a dumping ground for your emotional upheavals. People who care about you want to be there in any way they can, but you cannot demand that they parent you or that they take the brunt of your childhood issues. (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, 201) I have £8.40 in library overdue fines. I need to travel into London to collect stuff that (actually I asked for) from Kishwar aunty. And now Mark from Remploy has set me a "challenge" so, if I agree, I have to spend more money on travel fares this Tuesday to meet him at Caffé Nero in Southwark, Waterloo for our appointment, just so I get a sense of journey time, planning, getting ready for interviews and for work in Central London. I know I shall have to say yes. The means justify the end. I chuckled when I read the email, Caffé Nero was where Imran wanted to meet me. Fuck. Now, eight months later, I'm okay with meeting people (men) alone, by myself. Improvem...

Well, since I'm avoiding the inevitable drudgery of looking for work, here I am. I found one job. Filling the application just sucks the will to live from me. I am now working on my Liz Foster homework. Make up a motivational MOJO list: things that sustain your motivation and make you feel motivated to do things. 1) Walking and running daily for exercise (being around nature and people and animals) 2) Prayer/meditation and Energetic NLP exercises 3) Drinking 2 litres of water 4) Eating in moderation, eating raw vegetables and fruit as much as I can 5) 5 daily self acknowledgements and reading the notes and emails from people who took the time to tell me how they see me in a positive light 6) Writing in my blogs That's all I've come up with. It's a little tough when I'm feeling so defeatist at this current moment. It annoys me that other people are much better at manifesting their lives, or at least, keeping up high spirits in the midst of challenges. ...