Isle of Skye

I've loved this song for a year but only have just read the lyrics, after sending the song to Tazeen - they're quite intense :) Into The Sun Lyrics Lifehouse Send "Into The Sun" Ringtones to Cell it`s been a while since You last saw me one brakes down and the other one fades These eyes can see the days break Too late for the other's mistakes Sit down laugh thinking what have we done Let me inside Is it all over before it's begun Please give me some time Cause we are running into the sun Getting close to something into the sun You know that we're falling We're falling back into the sun I never meant to let you go Why did I leave maybe we'll never know But I'm a man now broken on the ground I'm in need and I think that it shows All this time we're going nowhere and we know it I was so blind All the lights are leading to where you're going I'm not far behind And now we're running into the...

Sukaina, can you please remember that!!! This is 31st October 2011, NOT 31st October 2010. Re-reading blog posts from last year will of course open up the scabs and make you weep because you feel unlovable, undesirable. And, no, you're not magically getting your phone back after an entire year. Life doesn't work like that.  Worrying about each and every one of your friends isn't really going to change anything for yourself or for them, for the better at least. You're making yourself more sick. Shift this situation. Write here if you must, but then take your shower and then pray and meditate and then go to Wimbledon and finish off the forms. You can buy another chocolate if you like, I don't care. Do anything it takes to bring the joy back into your life. Get back to reality. The joy isn't lost - it's there somewhere. Find it from within. So the music hasn't helped, Dua Iftetah hasn't helped and you don't want to do another energ...

... how can such vile words come off my tongue to easily and such hatred still be inside of me for this man whom they say is my father? I thought I'd gotten better. Apparently not. If I could, if the roles were reversed, I think I would be as uncharitable to him as he is to me now. Eff. Unless it's just my period and my ill health and general frustration making me spew such hatred. But it wouldn't come out if it wasn't there, wasn't real. How much longer do I need to suffer this? And pretend to be a good person, trying to help and heal everyone when I cannot learn my biggest lesson: him and then the rest of my family? Talking to my mother, told her about some random old friend with whom I am no longer in contact and told her that I'm changing so much that so many people are leaving my life and I am replacing them with people who are intellectually and spiritually more aligned with me and that why on Earth would I want people around me who make me fee...

Sometimes you're so physically sick and exhausted that even a blog post is impossible, let alone finishing off work - this better have some Divine plan for the highest good. Sometimes you ask the wrong person for help and the person who you were afraid to speak to, comes through for you. Sometimes you feel so sick that no amount of energy healing is working today. Sometimes you want people to come to your house and then you realise there's no one here to do that. Sometimes you really want something tasty and spicy and wish you'd bought though spicy desi snacks instead of exercising self-control. Sometimes you get really sick that you feel really restless and can't think how to shift it. Sometimes you really like a song, it slides inside you and off of you in smoooooothness - but you still feel sick and miserable. Sometime you wish you had a man who loved you so he could cuddle you right now and make you feel sexy, even though you're on your period an...

I'm going to see if the poem comes out; if it doesn't that's okay My quest for recognition through the other blog has begun to leave a sour taste in my mouth Especially after yesterday's blog I guess I can take a break, if I'm meant to get a job or fame on that basis, there's enough on it for now - but it really wasn't a quest, not all of it, some of it just came out and had to be published *sigh* why do I sound like a freak when I say these things? I've lost it, yesterday I completely lost it and I really dislike that hysterical person, that shadow, the not in control childish, bothered by everything person - why? Because she is the reason why people run away - she is the shadow of who I was last year, she's the saddo who still remembers dates and then repeats them to dear yet abused friends on the phone (yes, Ash, you!) or writes them on the blog Do you wanna know today's date? The text he sent me saying he missed speaking to me and w...

Make me very, very strong, for I feel very, very weak right now . Defeated . This mean human existence weighs down on me, Thou hast broken my back. Again! I laugh bitterly. Yet again! I struggle in vain; all seems dark and futile. There is pain, Disillusion Darkness and blocks Obstacles that Thou refuseth to remove from within and from without There is the suffering of attachement that I still remain attached to, All the things that I destroy resurface in full vengeance. I am still attached To the ignorance, the doubts, the fears and the lower base emotions of anger, jealousy, envy, resentment, attachment, of inordinate desires, despair, apathy, confusion A sense of loss and of being lost. Ridiculed. Forsaken. It has all resurfaced Again? Again? I stain my hands as I juggle with memories of the past. My face has festering scars; indelible. I scratch at it Frenetic in my desire to OBLITERATE any remaining sign... That I still exist, re...

http://johnsmyth.ie/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/beech-tree-1.jpg?w=840 Sacrosanct I sit under this loyal tree o' mine, Gazing at the azure sky that beams at me with benefaction. Today I focus on the ladybug who decided my heart was soft and open enough to be trusted. She ventures her tiny feet upon my calloused fingers. One full moon ago here I lay, nursing the hurt I felt as a result of a letter written to me in ire by a rejected suitor. The hurt was more because I had to decline his interest, than it was to do with those harsh words of little consequence. Sitting here, my bare feet on the grass, I thought of the boy who wrote one hysterically funny note, and then chose not to respond to my witty repartee. This young laddie from the Midlands encouraged me to release and transmute into your roots, the layers of bitterness and resentment for all they've ever said or done. And many full moons afore, I found myself here, in the cold and...

I am so in love with this cheesy love song, it's SAD! His voice is really beautiful, though: like satin :) Although, Ali Khan needs to change the lyrics to Koi Dhung Ka Aye Na. Kazam (stalker boy from SimplyShia website) added me on Skype again last night. I spoke to him without adding him and he said he's been missing me blah blah. How I wish I could tell him he's only attracted to my high vibration and not to me - he obviously is in need of healing. Because honestyl folks, there are women a lot hotter and thinner and willing to get married to him than I am, so why can't he fantasize about them? I actually went as far as telling him that I'm changing my religion. And then, this silly boy added me on Fb and he's odd. And skanky. No judgements, but I'd rather not have a guy on my list who comments Yummy Mummy on women on his list who put provocative photos up and has not a single photo on his facebook profile and doesn't even say why he's ad...

Well, it bloody well feels like it! I want to scream until You have more mercy on me- yes, I asked for MORE of it! I'm avoiding the spirituality of this month - forgot about the moon tonight, I'm slacking in my salaat, all I want to do is crib and snap at people There is anger in my eye and in my aura Weird-ass people re contacting me on Facebook and on Skype and the only person I ever felt anything for is not meant to be in my life ever again because he's such a wanker and dumbass. Even anything I say has an effect in karmic terms. I am karma - I chose all this shit with my name - every single things that has happened to me, I fucking chose it! What was I thinking? And now I need to change my name - and I can't figure out what to call myself. Skye Jacques sounds really naff now and stupid ass philistines will all call it JACKS. And it's just a name - none of this should really matter. The human bit of me wants love and a husband and a friend and...

I've already posted three times on the other blog, so gonna post it here :)

I feel so tired. I wanted to write this as a FB status update - but then the ego realised it wouldn't really achieve anything. Not physically - on the other levels. Not getting a job because I wear hijab. Not getting a guy because I'm too emotional. Not being able to bear Imran changing his profile photo and he's now got a beard. Not being able to get over what Imran Ali Gul did for Tazeen for her birthday. Although that makes it harder for her to let him go. This London Imran just doesn't respect people enough to reply to emails, so it's not like I have a choice. So he's doing me a big huge-ass favour. I wish it felt like that way on days like today. Saw a lovely top at Dorothy Perkins for £17 - guess who won't be able to buy it? Moi. http://www.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33053&storeId=12552&productId=2670960&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&cate...

I finally made it there, an entire year after I could have gone to meet a special someone for a date, a cheesy rose and dinner - that Lebanese restaurant would have been lovely, if a little noisy All I need to do is walk 15 minutes to the Bushey Road motorway and take the K5 at 50 minutes past the hour and am there in approx 45 minutes - on a good day, I can take the train from Raynes Park or wimbledon and be there in 10 :) Good thing he doesn't live there anymore, lives in Feltham - I would have constantly fantasised about accidentally bumping into him while obviously he'd be at work like normal, God-fearing citizens of London :P I did fantasise about going into an opticians shop and it being the one that his brother Akber works in but then I ended up in waterstone's and looking through all the angel books and cards and loved them: card one said I'm a healer and know it, card 2 said I'm a speaker and use oration, even if it doesn't seem so right now, card...

Yes, I am definitely not doing that I ought to do :'( The Problem The Garden of Spirits   Meaning: You have drifted unwittingly into a reverie. You flee from reality by waiting for your dream to be realized. These kinds of dreams are like a drug, alienating you all the more from the world and those you find difficult to leave. They have lulled you into a false sense of reality. Above all else, they makes you passive. The Way Throught the Problem Responsibility for Creation Meaning: You are being asked to intervene on behalf of someone else, the world or the environment. Your journey in­volves learning to accept responsibility for the weak (lifeforms which depend on you). That could mean an animal, plant or human being in need of your protection. Your journey will never end unless you care for them and relieve their bur...

aaken and come forth and lemme heear you roarrrrrrrr (and then lead!) ‎"You who know you are lightworkers can let the light-generating masses, who don't realize what they are doing, inspire you to reach out beyond your circles of enlightened persons. You can dispel the negativity of despair in the people who are uninformed simply by living your light. We don't mean preaching or proselytizing, we mean living with such glowing spirit that your energy of joy and confidence touches everyone near you. So let your light shine in all its glory—it is a most meaningful, fulfilling life mission! Please don't think, however, that you should keep your knowledge under a bushel, so to say. You know family members, friends, neighbors and colleagues who are reluctant to accept whatever doesn't fit into their ideas and beliefs—respect that, knowing that they will have other opportunities to "see the light." For soul-searchers, though, having someone with whom to shar...

Beautiful song - thank You Allah, you have completely healed my heart :) Please protect all the girls and the women and their hearts and dignities and integrity, because it's damned challenging, us living the human experience And please do the same for the boys, men-boys and the real men in the world - at the end of the day, we're truly all the same and One And, this time, I am saving a little love for myself Enough for my heart to mend, A little love for myself, One day I just might love again, One day some sweet smile might just turn my head :)