Isle of Skye

I read in Venus and Mars on a Date or in Why Venus and Mars collide that when in a relationship, be willing to run a marathon, not just go for a short sprint. That means slow and steady wins the race - or something like that. Wish Imran had been open to doing that - *sigh* New guy, funny guy, from Birmingham. I had visited his profile last week and laughed a lot and had even spoken about his profile for 5 minutes to Sarah last week. She told me to contact him. I told her I don't want to move to from London, he's Khoja and he wants chidlren, lives with his family, mentioned his parents in his profile and is younger than I am (he's actually 27 - must be a funky head day) Good news is that he saw I had looked at his profile and has the £40 membership and messaged me on Saturday :) (Jesus - what the hell? Why am I not talking about God or work? Boys, boys, boys - argh!!!) I changed my profile on Friday night/Saturday morning in one of my moods of panic and frustration...

On a high yesterday, crashing today. I hate colds. They suck the living out of a person. I shall set my intentions for this week. "I am willing to let go. I release others to experience whatever is meaningful to them, and I am free to create that which is meaningful to me." Ignore and forget about Facebook until the 23rd of January 2010 i.e. 8 days from today. I can do it! Take that one course I will take. Yoga and meditation daily (starts tonight) Moon meditation at the full moon - this Wednesday. Will freeze my ass off, but must be done. Buy papers for my mandalas. Dance and sing daily. Walk daily. Eat raw as much as possible. Let go of chocolates and biscuits and crisps. Love celery and carrots! And eat less than I crave. Distract myself each time I think about Irish and his psycho girlfriend. Pray to Allah for forgetfulness and indifference. I have to be honest to at least myself: I'm romanticising everything, even after reading He's Just Not T...

"Don't be afraid of going slowly; be afraid of standing still." Anonymous Of course I don't want to jinx anything. But confessing what is true can't do that. It's a good thing; it means progress. In fact, it's more than good, it's fantastic - see, I am even risking enthusiasm. I haven't felt 'downhearted' for three whole days. I mean, sure, my activity levels are still pretty low, and I cried my eyes yesterday because of that really stupid git of a shrink - okay, and PMT was another culprit. However, yesterday, when I was telling him my 'symptoms', there didn't seem to be so many - not as many as there used to be. Well, his bedside manner was pretty crap, but not as bad as the lady shrink I went to three weeks ago. I actually wanted to go to the mosque yesterday for the milad, and convinced Mum to go with me and I had fun . It was the best milad I have ever been to - why? First of all, since it was both ladies and gents, there ...

Yeah, I constantly want to be motivated and alive and feeling things. It makes me get angry. I was at the bank, waiting in line, and by mistake I bumped my Sainsbury's bag into the man before me. He gave me one of those wicked glares and then moved literally 5 yards away from me, even after I said sorry. I muttered "Well, I hope that's enough space for you". I felt like swearing at the git. FUCKWAD! All these fucking white people who are so STUPID on top of everything. Not because they are white, but because they are plebs....and me, I've not even been to public school! God - anyway. Not a very good day for me, I suppose. Ate 5 packs of crisps and they weren't even that good. Sainsbury's Basics brand. I won't be cooking, looks like it.