Isle of Skye

Away with the Fairies.... I'm writing because what else is there to do for someone like me? As usual, wasting yet another day in my life. Technically, I had intended to donate blood today. But, just like all the other times when blood donation came up, I've got a cold like thing, so my blood won't be helpful. Perfect. I keep waking late, at 8am - or even 9am I was looking up the synopsis of Rockstar - I didn't want to waste my time watching a movie that's crap. The songs are amazing. So the synopsis made me laugh. Sardonically.   Rockstar Movie Synopsis | Story of the Movie Rockstar 2011 The story follows Janardhan Jakhar (Ranbir Kapoor) an uncouth, social nobody in college in Delhi. A good-for-nothing, uncooperative son at home. And a struggling-musician-with-little-hope to his friends and acquaintances... But Janardhan wants to change all that. So when a well wisher discloses the secret behind all great success: that you have t...

Sakina posted this up on FB... I thought it would be interesting to see what the fundamentalist Muslim males have to say. I didn't agree with the first 2 minutes (it's all programming - who in their right mind is going to compare Lady Mariam's story of complete chastity, mother of Jesus, living in that era, with us today? WHO?) and was going to comment, then thank Goodness wisdom and lack of true interest overtook me and I told myself to disagree with it in private.  ... then I continued to the end - because I REALLY liked the way he read it and the poetry flows. I liked the end bit. (Apart from the mention of Aisha. Sorry, that's my programming kicking in. Why oh why can't you guys use Khadija, Maria, Umm-e-Salama as examples... WHY??? Why is it always Aisha? WHY???? Umm-e-Salama was there for Hussain and for Zaynab, grandchildren of the Prophet, at the time of Karbala - loyal and honourable until the VERY end; Khadija is one of the four ladies of Paradise, ...

So I have been thinking of him for the past three days. Not during the day. Not obsessively. At night, when it's time to go to sleep. I imagine him, or rather he imagines me. Or it's real energetically. It's not as though I am calling him. He comes. He's there. And he's very loving. Very attentive. Very in tune. He's his highest self, the man I saw in him, the loving, kind, gentle, tender man. The man I fell in love with, the one I chose to be my soul mate. Not the man he currently is. He makes me really want to be in a proper relationship. Allah, please make it happen. I want someone to hold me in his arms and hug me and adore me. My legal, Shia Muslim husband. Just like he does in my fantasies. I keep asking him if he's married, he says no. It doesn't really matter, I'm not going back to him. but at least I can be assured I'm not sleeping with/ fantasising about a married man. After the cousin's wedding this weekend, my life w...

You know how they say that whatever you look for you keep attracting that in your consciousness? LOL. I am a strong Scorpio Ascendant, so in astro, you look to the forecasts for both the sun sign and the ascendant... For example, I keep on picking the Chantal card... or the love and new relationship card... haven't had Angel Daniel for a long time, though. Makes sense. Today's Scorpio Horoscope from Cafe Astrology March 10, 2012 This is a potentially very strong day for attracting who or what you want into your life. In fact, today and the next few days can bring excellent energy for your powers of attraction on social and romantic levels. Conversations can be especially warm and productive. Willingness to open up is a key factor. The opportunity to put longstanding relationship problems behind you can arise. Lol. On va voir. At least there'll be hot guys to salivate over at the wedding - ha ha. While I'm wearing drab grey. Okay, ENOUGH! Lol. Yeah, but my l...

Yeah, wanted a nice title. Seeing as I can only write here for the meantime. It's like the Universe is biting me in the ass with the amount of comments I am getting from people like Tazeen and Tamseela... redundant phrases such as: "Well, you always withdraw when you are surviving, how about you change your strategy? I didn't take any offense even if you do hate me suki. No offense at all. Thats your journey to make, not mine. And the best way to overcome anything at all is to take full responsibility whether its your energy or not. Because this way you have the control to change it rather than living with it. Baqi, you know what's best for you, so i'm not gonna go in my philosophical bullshit. You already know I'll be here " And in response to my Vibrancy post, Tamseela writes:  Tamseela Amjad Mar 8, 2012 10:57 PM Its telling you that you are ready to move to a new level :) you are bored of the current state..aa.. but habit is not letting...

Copied from O Healer blog I wanted to make this into poetry... yet I fear the font has dried out and is waiting for me to refill it... I came across the online profile of a classmate from years ago. She looks so vibrant. Going over some profiles on the matrimonial profile (hey... it's a habit!) and one guy specifically wants these qualities in his life partner: share the same mood and zest for life as myself be of a vibrant disposition The bloke I fell for two years ago is extremely vibrant and active... full of LIFE! Plays all sorts of sports, travels a lot, goes out a lot, has many friends and a great relationship with his family, etc. He found what he was looking for and is now happily married... lol. Sorry, that phrase will forever make me peal into uncontrollable laughter for reasons best known to me. Bahahaha... lol... ooops... right.... Even his cousin, whom I never met (okay, let's not go there :P) was of the most bright, vibrant light and I felt an instant...

Well, it bloody well feels like it! I want to scream until You have more mercy on me- yes, I asked for MORE of it! I'm avoiding the spirituality of this month - forgot about the moon tonight, I'm slacking in my salaat, all I want to do is crib and snap at people There is anger in my eye and in my aura Weird-ass people re contacting me on Facebook and on Skype and the only person I ever felt anything for is not meant to be in my life ever again because he's such a wanker and dumbass. Even anything I say has an effect in karmic terms. I am karma - I chose all this shit with my name - every single things that has happened to me, I fucking chose it! What was I thinking? And now I need to change my name - and I can't figure out what to call myself. Skye Jacques sounds really naff now and stupid ass philistines will all call it JACKS. And it's just a name - none of this should really matter. The human bit of me wants love and a husband and a friend and...

Mark gave me a mock interview today. I did okay - I said "uhm" 13 times (he counted, the meanie). Not quite sure why I'm seeing him next week if I haven't started looking for work - although he was really convincing in his persuasion for me to start again. I needed to borrow his ball point pen because, as usual, could not find it in my huge-ass purse. He said yes, sure here you go... but make sure you give it back. I know all about you pen thieves. Then he says: I was at home one day and was bored and looked at the pot in font of me and thought "I wonder how many pens I have in the house" and so I counted them all - I have 150 pens at home..." Boy, I bust a gut laughing... who in hell has time to count all the PENS in the house???? And actually REMEMBER how many???? And this guy, my dears, is a cool guy - he's funny and he plays football, has a life partner and all the rest of it... bless him, it is worth seeing him each week to hear these radic...

I'm so smoking hot! Photo taken 17th June 2011, on a bus in Chelsea, London So, tell me again, why the hell am I still not only single, but not a single man (I am not counting the pathetic FB fraaaanship requests) has hit on me since Imran? And that was... uhm... the last time was.... uhm.... 14th October 2010. After that, well, if we count 11th November 2010 (but I don't)... I mean, okay there are definitely girls who are hotter than I am, who show a lot more skin than I do, who have bigger boobs (yes, I am still a 32A cup, thank you very much), who are much skinner and therefore hotter than I am.... and they always get the attention. And even the hijabi girls, some are really hotter and prettier and better coiffed and have fancier clothes and make up and shades and so are more attractive to the men. But still!!! Come on, Universe... I am Spirit come on earth to have a human experience. I am not even saying I desire to become a promiscuous skanky person. I don...

...I choose to let go of the past, live in the present and look forward to the future. (again, and again, and again.... until it feels like my second nature and I can truly let go of the past...) This past weekend, I've once again searched for signs or seen things and immediately associated with him. And some of them had nothing to do with them, I just had filed incorrect information in my mind. * going to Old Street and thinking I'd bump into him... when actually, I've just googled it and the Cisco office is in Moorgate and he works at the main office in Feltham anyway... that's why he bloody moved there in the first place, idiot! * seeing a doberman on Saturday morning * seeing a guy who was of similar height and skin tone on Monday... * the Tracy Chapman song Change popping to my attention on Youtube on Tuesday evening - it's a good one, though. So, thanks for intro-ing me to her, Immy. * coming across the word Feltham randomly on Wednesday morni...

That is how much of my energy is solely mine: inside of me, in my aura, in my energy field. Just freaking eight per cent. That means 92 per cent is my parents, my religious upbringing, school and everyone else's. Sigh. Other people raised their vibrations to 40 and 50 per cent after doing the releasing exercises. Pas moi. I went to an introductory evening for Art Giser's Energetic NLP work last Thursday (that where we did all the kooky, visualisation stuff - I'll post it on my O Healer blog soon). It was fruitful. I felt that I had finally stepped into the world I was born to be part of, into the way of living that is attuned to mine: that I had finally "arrived". I was where I belonged. I made sense. I was on the right path. Finally. It was a full moon night as well, which I love! I couldn't have planned it better, to be honest. Lots of stuff happened, I learnt quite a bit: some of which I don't think I should have learned - only because it i...