Isle of Skye

For the past two days, when I have been out and sitting by a tree to release energies, my heart starts hurting and I start crying and crying and crying.... I've scared two men and they have asked me if I am okay, and I stop crying, smile and say "Yes, I'm fine, thank you." Yesterday's grief was Imran. Still miss him, still regret him. Jesus. I really miss being in love and being cared for and receiving blue font emails and texts and cat photos and... damn.... Umair, Imran, Osama and now Ali... Using my words to tell them to back off or to tell them to come close and then tell them to back off. A part of me doesn't want the rest of me to be in a fulfilling relationship with a man because I am so scared. I sent Ali a text around 9pm last night to ask how he was doing. I had asked permission to send him healing the night before because he got home really late and was tired, so I was being of "love and assistance" - I mean, he's got cerebra...

So on Saturday, we as a group released energies to do with sabotages to vulnerability, to success, to gratitude and to romance. And a lot of other things were released... control... other things... no point in documenting it all. I was in full 3D and so nothing magical was seen by moi. Then Ali, the 37 year old Irani guy texted me on Sunday but so late I wasn't in the mood for a chat. We spoke on Sunday and he went into "selling myself as a potential husband" so I told him please don't do that, let's just have a normal conversation. I think Ali might become a new friend... I would like that, I need friends in London. We spoke for an hour, it was good in the sense I have a lot more in common with him than with Imran. Healing, he likes to talk as well.... but not the hubby for me :) When he spoke about hope, I couldn't be present. Because it reminded me of Imran and I winced. Then today, I randomly open up a magazine at the Post Office and it s...

Thanks to a certain Muffin girl, I now have this on continuous replay. Smooth move, Madihu. Très suave and intuitive. Touché =) *big hug* Boy, am I glad I am almost over him. If I wasn't, this damned song would have made me sob like a baby. I guess it's good I'm continuing with the EFT tapping and releasing him with unconditional love and forgiveness. And that my sarky self is continually pressing the "Get over it, Sukaina" button. And I realise that my destinies lie somewhere else. Far beyond what I am currently limiting myself to. Sidra had told me after our first session way back in October to tap on these phrases: "Even though I have no idea what the future holds for me, I choose to trust that everything is working out for me..." "Release this resistance to self love, self worth... I choose to release it... Release it to the earth, release to the air..." And finally, "Even though, I am obsessed with him, I still deep...