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I am so sorry, Sukaina

Dear Sukaina,

I'm so sorry that you chose to lower your vibration yesterday. I'm so sorry that you chose to think, speak and act according to old, outdated, useless patterns that aren't even yours.

I'm so sorry that you are still so unforgiving and resentful of Imran Lakha, that you still hold a furious disdain towards yourself for being attracted to, and attracting, all of him, all of that. That you still punish yourself in subconscious ways for discounting yourself with him, and with many other people in your life (past and present), for being completely obsessed and addicted that, ten months after you would have liked to have been done with his memory altogether, you still think of him.

I am so sorry that you lead yourself to follow, resist and get stuck in the thoughts.

I'm so sorry that you still haven't learned the lessons you signed up for avec le père et la mère.

I am so sorry that you have such a low resonance and vibration that you cannot access financial abundance and independence and that you constantly focus on it, so you allow yourself to get further stuck in it - as you did yesterday.

I am so sorry that you felt the need to defend your position and your actions yesterday, and once you started, by bringing up the past depressive episode as the iron-clad explanation, it just began to snowball in a mindset and automated response set that you really, truly thought you had risen above. Yesterday showed you that you are still stuck in those places and your tongue needs to be cut in order to not maim or slander anyone anymore.

I am so sorry you're stuck and needy and clingy and feel worthless and guilty about every singled damned thing.

I am so sorry that you don't value yourself enough to truly want independence. If you truly wanted it, you would have manifested it weeks ago. You would have.

I am so sorry that your father is very sick, and that each time he falls sick, you lock away all your love and compassion so that you don't deal with him.

I am so sorry that you randomly call up people for volunteer jobs, start and don't finish things. In general, in life. The only thing you've completed in four years is your BA degree.

I am so sorry that your resonance is such that people constantly bump into you in the streets, do not reply to emails, some only email when they want something form you, and when it's been given, they choose to stay away and not acknowledge.

I am happy that people stop their cars to let you cross the road, and twice was when they didn't have to legally, they did it out of courtesy.

I am so sorry that you are wasting another day procrastinating instead of making your life, or doing something to progress yourself.

I am so sorry that you keep having days like this.

I am so sorry that you keep allowing yourself to get triggered so easily.

I am so sorry that you've completely shut down your intuitive abilities, you can't sense or discern anything and so you can't see anything beyond what is here and find yourself stuck.

I am so sorry that you're choosing to cry and go back to bed instead of being normal like everyone else.

I am so sorry that all of this positivity and raising your vibration and gratitude and spiritual joy stuff doesn't come easily and automatically to you.

I am so sorry that you feel so sad and frustrated that you don't even want to talk to God today.

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