Isle of Skye

Always follow your dreams... Originally uploaded by Vimrod1

It is only a thought, and a thought can be changed. I am not limited by any past thinking. I choose my thoughts with care. I constantly have new insights and new ways of looking at my world. I am willing to change and grow.

My Healing is already in Progress My willingness to forgive begins my healing process. I allow the love from my own heart to wash through me, cleansing and healing every part of my body. I know I am worth healing. I Listen with Love to my body's messages. My body is always working towards optimum health. My body wants to be whole and healthy. I cooperate and become healthy, whole and complete.

Everything has a beginning, a middle and an end, except of course the extraordinary novel I have been writing for 5 years now, which just has a beginning... Originally uploaded by Vimrod1 Ahahahahahaha. How apt is this? i've started everything, daydreaming, wishing, planning and of course nothing really comes to fruition. Will I take up the intro to counselling course, or will I look for a job here in Karachi..... will i continue with the reiki or will I start learning anew language or ill I.... well, at lest it's all positive stuff, eh? but this is my up swing in the biorhythms. Went to the gynaecologist first time today. she said she's not giving me a cervical exam and Pap smear until i am "sexually active" (quoting her and from Juno) I suppose that's a good thing... I've been having weirdo dreams... one was being chased by my O level Chemistry teacher with a chain saw or electrical drill, she wanted to cut my hand off as punishment for wanting to live a...

I'm feeling my 'normal' self again: hate most of the people i know, don't give a shit about the rest, irritable. unable to focus on a lot of things, but my mind's still racing. i think i almost lost myself there for a while. it was a different person, definitely a manic phase. Listening to Fluorescent Adolescent by The Arctic Monkeys makes me feel so English... and normal? Sigh. there's nothing there for me... except for those two winter jackets and a few gazillion books and papers.... pourquoi je peux pas devenir satisfait ou j'suis... I make myself think I have to live with mum from now on and yet, London.... tu me manque.... quelle stupidité... ugh. The politics there sucks... and who knows what will happen, I'll most probably change my mind about the counselling course... after all, since counselling never fucking worked for me, why the hell would i want to listen to other people go on and on and on...? It's bad enough having to live my own thoug...

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I'm beginning to care too much again, and for the wrong people. Mairy. Dammit. Dammit. It's just my enormous sleep debt making me do weird things. I re-added him to Facebook ( do NOT ask me why and do NOT tell me why either ;-) Man, his brother Mustafa is so handsome and good looking. I love the name Mustafa, btw. Yes, Fati, am sorry, but nuh. A name is a name. I still like the name Mohsin, even though it's the name of my mum's second husband of 7 months who totally screwed her over and left her to the dogs. My hypothetical first kid I'd name Mustafa. I'd never name my hypothetical kid Mohsin though. That poor kid... lol! Unless, well, then the name would no longer hold power over the people in my family. Except - none in my family is thinking along the lines i am. I think i need to make a second family for myself consisting of friends and colleagues and fellow thinkers.... I'm so spiritually and intellectually isolated. I actually wanted to marry a Mustafa,...

Is it good for me to visit London in July 2009? The Cross spread is used to plot the arc of your life and the forces acting on it. It is the most popular spread, giving a very complete view of the situation. Ice Runes are most commonly used for questions about struggle, conflict, and achievement. The left rune represents an important element of the past . Gebo means gift, and like many gifts, the rune may be understood on many levels. Gifts are generally positive things, for both the giver and the recipient. In many cultures however, gifts and favors carry with them an obligation to respond in kind. It is for this reason that gifts, and hence the rune Gebo, are frequently symbolic of friendships, marriages, alliances, mergers, and other bonds between people or organizations. Gebo is a strong rune and the unions represented are strong as well. Moreover, Gebo is...

Is it good for me to visit London in July 2009? The Two Paths spread provides insight into an important decision ahead of you, the possible outcomes, and the forces that draw you towards each of these outcomes. The Phoenix Tarot is one of the most strikingly beautiful decks of the 20th century. Through vibrant colors and stylized images, it breathes new life into the familiar symbology of the Tarot. If you would like your own copy of the Phoenix Tarot, you can buy it now ! The top left card represents the first possible outcome . Strength : Raw power. Health and physical fortitude. A surge of tremendous force. Recovery from sickness. Victory after apprehension and fear. The ability to face and overcome opposition brings the inner qualities of strength and forbearance. Delays and setbacks will be overcome. The top right card represents the second poss...

Didn't do much. Wasn't feeling well. But did have fun with kiddies and kitties. And got Rs. 2,000. Yay for me. Will celebrate properly one day in future with my peeps and in my way. Why not? Mad, Ameen to your email wish. The kids are my mum's Montessori kids, btw. I heart him, her... notsomuch. She reminds me a little of me when she's in a bad mood. Today: I've been belly laughing and my heart feels lighter. Umair emailed me on the 14th, I was pleased. Even if the dipshit forgot my date. He writes: yo, happy birthday. 25 fuckin' years...seriously. aren't you getting depressed? when is your birthday anyway? take care. Typical.... :) I started homo-pathy medicines since Tuesday, after my Saturday slashing and the weeping for the entire frigging week, I told my mum what do I do? She told me, please take homeopathy, like I wanted you to since forever. So I agreed. Istekhara came out very good, the ayat referred to how Allah has not forgotten to add anything to ...

Yoga Journal - Yoga for Depression, Part I Yoga for Depression, Part II Posted using ShareThis

I slit my wrist today with a fresh razor blade and, surprisingly, it felt really, really good. I haven't cleaned up the blood either. What for? I used to cut when I was "16, going on 17" (Sound of Music). I only started after reading a teenage magazine article about it, never considered it before that. Headbanging was good enough for me back then. I forgot how good it feels. Your entire body heaves a sigh. When you see the blood, you feel you've accomplished something.

I've decided to try making this blog public. See if anyone reads it. A desperate cry for attention? Whatever. It will take time to take out all the names. Meh. Is it even worth it? I wish I had Threads of Hope to read right now. My mum, I tried talking to her about what's bugging her, all I got was "I'm worried about you. I think it's normal for a mother to expect her child to do something, a job or a course after university, not just do nothing for two years." I burst into tears at the psychiatrist's yesterday, couldn't talk. He told me to stop the duloxetine and take Ritalin and Topomax (I'll replace with the medical name later on, got a headache now). I went to the talking shrink to get my papers back and she told me not to cry in front of the psychiatrist. Whatever. I no longer trust nor like you. So fuck you. And, in the past week, I've realised that the UK would not be right for me. Now and probably for some time in the future. Yay. Fin...

Every thought I think is creating my future The universe totally supports every thought I choose to think and believe. I have unlimited choices about what I think. I Choose balance, harmony and peace, and I express it in my life.

I am never letting any of them come within a foot of me ever again. Marriage? Mutah? Any relationship whatsoever? Fuck that. I don't need a husband to "protect" me. I must protect myself from ever acquiring a "husband" and God protects us all, if we ask him to. And sometimes He doesn't and that's just because He too is a Man.

OK, so apparently I don't have to believe in reincarnation and past lives in order to go through the entire Reiki and regression phenomenon. Fair enough. I will have something interesting to report next week, after I have my session. Life with the family is still so bloody sordid. ugh. Ugh. Ugh. The karma bit is to do with losing my friends in real life. Deleting people off from my Facebook list, adding people on and then having people add me on. Surprisingly, those whom I deleted before. And at least one of them who would rather not meet me in real life but has no problems adding me on. Meh. Ah. It's so deep and complicated while being so shallow and stupid at the same time, that perhaps either right now is not the time to delve into it, or it's just not worth mentioning that I've already wasted 5 minutes talking about it! Lucid dream: I'm in Iran for yet another ziyarat (lucky me!) from Qom on my way to Mashad and my khala emails me with the heading "Cold Eye...

I claim my own power and I lovingly create my own reality I ask for more understanding So that I may knowingly and lovingly shape my world and my experiences.

Use of Reiki Symbols in Reiki Therapy Reiki therapy has various effects and assists in healing the person through the use of various symbols that bring about the restoration of the body energy. Read on to know more about the use of Reiki symbols in Reiki therapy. Reiki is a Japanese technique that reduces stress and helps in relaxation of the body. The name Reiki is coined from two Japanese words- Rei (God’s Wisdom) and Ki (Life Force Energy). The words mean spiritually guided life energy, which is found within all of us. It helps one to achieve a high form of energy and this would help to us keep us motivated, throughout. Because a low level of energy would mean a person would be most likely to get stressed out and not perform to the best of his abilities whether it his/her work related areas or personal life. Reiki thus helps to harmonize the mind, body and soul and Reiki therapy helps a person to improve his life, emotionally, which in turn helps physically. Reiki Healing: R...

After two entire months, I managed to concentrate on BBC World News this morning and this is what I learnt. The G20 summit of this year is tomorrow and takes place in London. The recession is the worst for 60 years and has hit the UK hard. (I somehow have been immune and cushioned and it's only by Allah's Grace and Love that I am). Benyamin Netanyahu is the new Pm of Israel (wasn't he already PM sometime in the past - I know his name by heart - why?) All Zionist leaders have that same cold 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' stare. Seriously. Check it out. They've gotten it from Hitler. Some other rubbish about Sports and Weather. hahaha. Today is InshaAllah a better day. So much to do and just can't seem to do anything. I need to pray Zohr Asr Maghrib Isha today. I need to send my CV for two different jobs today. I need to clean my room and bathroom today. I need to go for the walk today. I need to meditate AND Reiki today. I need to write down what Fird...