Skip to main content

Je m'appelle...

This is it!

Not only is this the third male cousin of mine who has travelled to Karachi and gets his nikah recited after two weeks. I already have issues with that because it has been and is currently so bloody ridiculously challenging for me and for the people I love to find their life partner and get married.

But what hit me was that her name is Sukaina, as is his sister-in-law's and as is MINE!

There are WAY too many Sukainas in the world. And there are way too many Sukaina Jumas in the world.

I should know: I'm the person who keeps searching my name on Google, Skype and Facebook.

And, up until this very moment, I thought I was the only Skye Jacques. And then I had to search, didn't I? https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001618292031

The easy bit is getting rid of Juma. I've hated that name for ages, because it's not me. It's the family name, the father's name, the ancestral name which has no bearing on me. It's got nowt to do with me.

The thing is, I really like Sukaina. Ca est la problème.

I wish I wasn't so fussy and bugged about this. Yet I am.

A lady on my Level 3 course is called Helen Oakwater. She invented Oakwater for herself to free herself.

I may have to keep Sukaina. I don't want to, but if I change, it will take ages for people to understand and get used to the new name AND it will be a challenge for me to get the same numerology frequency with the new name. I could call myself Suki, and yet that too is SO common a name.

Once I get my practical life together, one I am living in true flopw, true happines, true joy, I will seriously change my name to something very unique and just for me.

(this is a little bit of absurdity to break up what is again a melancholic, serious mood that won't budge).

BREATHE INTO IT, and then BREATHE IT OUT...

I would write another post, more authentic and deep... I just can't make myself do it. My body is aching from yesterday, it rainy and cold, I feel lonely and helpless and I messed up with my energetic group meeting this week on Skype. I thought at least one of them would be on for 10 am. I forgot to email her, so no one is on.

It's so frustrating... all of this is.

Sorry... but if I can't vent into my blog, then I really can't vent anywhere else.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The parents

Your Type Four EnneaThought for January 13th— Reflect on your childhood today. As a child, did you believe you were not like your parents? Did you feel that you were not "seen" by your parents and that you did not connect sufficiently with your parents? As an adult, what does this have to do with you now? (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, 182) As I've said myriad times before, these things just slap me in the face with a wet fish most days. I suppose it makes sense that I should send Reiki healing to my relationships with my father and my mother. Haven't really done that for ages. It's too hard sometimes, I choose to ignore and avoid dealing with them mainly because these are the two people I've been connected with since birth. A lot of effort is required in order to 'let things slide'. Living with my dad is hell, and I'm co-creating it on purpose, as part of my desire to annoy, to hurt him the way he hurts me. My mum, well, I guess we'...
Post a Comment
Read more

Je dois écrire

Je dois écrire . L'ironie est que quand j'avais le temps, je na'i pu pas fair rien . Doesn't matter, I have to write. I keep listening to poets like Keane and Travis and Darren Hayes and I'm here, with the creativity finally bursting forth again, and what's more, the joie de vivre bursting through and I'm not writing and I'm not taking pictures and I'm doing bloody cashier work at Oxfam. I am a swan, I am a seagull that glides and glides. I am the tree, the squirrel. Words are all I have to make myself different from you lot. To make myself lighter, somewhat more worthy. How low is my self esteem that I still believe those falsehoods. I just cannot find people on my wave length. It means I never shall. Or I do and because of my skin colour or because I am behind the Oxfam counter, or because I am in Morden, or London, or the UK, I shall never know. An opera singer. A person who wants to wear kurtis but is scared of going into a desi shop i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Judgement

Tarot Card Interpretation & Meaning - (20) Judgment Introduction: Judgment can be a card about jumping to conclusions, decisions and judgments. which are too hastily made. If you are prone to such things, this is a clear signal to slow down and give things more thought and to give people "more chances." This can be a real time of spiritual awakening.           General: In general, if you are the one tending to jump to conclusions, you can put a stop to it. If others are making these kinds of decisions about you or about someone you care for, there is really very little you can do, apart from realizing that it's their problem, not yours. Health: This is an important time to let go of the past and any wrongs that you perceive were done to you, particularly if you are dealing with chronic medical issues. Letting go of your need to be right will go a long way toward helping you to feel better. Besides, if ...
Post a Comment
Read more