Isle of Skye

The short story transforms into a novella. Question is: will I allow it to become a novella, novel or epic saga? Is it meant to be? Are we up for it? I know I am not, not at the moment. Nouvelle chapitre: I made a decision on the night of his birthday, 28th November. No, I didn't wish him a Happy Birthday. Didn't want to, so didn't. It came from my Higher Self. Guiding me back on track. I deleted all his email addresses, took him off from Yahoo Messenger and blocked him from SimplyShia but then they hid all the messages he sent me, which isn't quite what I wanted. So I unblocked him so I could keep the lines of communication open - and refer to the imbecilic messages when I was bored or wallowing. Good my intuition/God guided me to do that. After what has transpired this morning. I also deleted him from FB at around 9 AM yesterday - a-ha, you didn't think I'd be able to do that, now did you? SURPRISEEEEEE! I had to make a firm commitment to mys...

And I have my snow boots :) OK, I grant you, they aren't very sturdy for country walking, but they will do for today. I'm going to make a snow kitten in my front yard! *JUMP JUMP JUMP* After spending four years in Toronto, I really never thought I'd love snow again. *grins*

LOL - I'm window shopping. Just looking. Blokes... sigh! Does it really have to be si difficile? Réponse: ouai! Sameer 287, 28 , Ja'fari/Ithna'asheri , None , United Kingdom "Stop staring, I'm not a piece of meat..i have feelings too! :) "   LMAO!!! I like him already! A few words about me I like to use some well-known quotes to reveal more about aspects of myself..blame facebook! "The most beautiful things in life are the simple things." "I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realised, than lord among those without dreams and desires." (Khalil Gibran) "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." (Chaplin) "The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." (Chuck Palahniuk) Ali Ali 25, Ja'fari/Ithna'asheri, Lancashire,GB Salaam x salaaam i would say iam funny,commited, trust worthy an family oriented, an i love my mumy...

And I manage to get rid of the second hot-looking, sexy man in my life. I had my appointment with Vim today. Sigh.... Still as cute, nice and motivated. Now he said: Well, I'll book you in for an appointment in two weeks. And I remembered he had said a fortnight ago that he was going to sign me off his register and put me back to Dot or Dermott (who called me a silly sausage for meditating outside instead of inside so when it was time I'd be on time - long story, you know I don't cut them short, so we'll just leave it). So, me, being the honest and upright and impulsive munh phatt person I am (HA!) said "Well, didn't you say that you were going to put me back upstairs?" Did he look surprised? I'll pretend he was ;) We were getting along smoothly, smiling and stuff :) Then he said: Well, I was going to book you in to see me again in two weeks, but you're right...what do you think?" And I couldn't say: Nahiiii ! I love talking and flirting...

Not bored enough to pray, mind you. Or shower (yes, yes... go on, whatever! I showered less than 24 hours ago :p) I'm just wanting things to move, to go on smoothly. I want to be in love - I love being in love - not being imbecilically obsessed as I am now - sigh - but just in love. A mature, balanced love. I want someone to be on FB chat so I can chat to them. There's absolutely nobody and the one person I messaged asking her to help me procrastinate, she just went offline! Umair's busy, Tazeen's got a life, argh, argh, argh. November, turn into December so I can start feeling less lonely and fat. I really don't want to gain all that weight back. Argh. Argh. Argh. I wish I lived in North London, Hujjat is so much better than Hyderi. Bigger, too. Where are you Imran? What are you doing? Argh! Spoke to my mum about the entire thing. She told me, I did the same thing with Uncle (her second ex-husband) and I'm like: yeah, love makes us all paagal . She laughed at t...

... but I have to feed my obsession, the very last remnants of it, at least. He's deactivated his FB page. I first thought he'd taken me off it. Nahiiiii! and WTH??? was my first reaction. Then, I said, wait, search him. Didn't come up on FB search. Then was going to write another rambling idiotic obsessive email to Tazeen to ask for her wisdom. Thankfully, I stopped myself from being stupid. Tazeen has a life, even if you do not Sukaina! Then, I sneakily checked all three of his brothers' pages: he's not on any of them. To double check, I checked the two male cousins of mine who he's friends with. Not on their lists either. Which means he's deactivated it. A good thing I've saved all his photos. *hangs head in shame* Then, I did my Tarot: and this came up: Love: The reversed Page of Cups carries a warning when it comes to love relationships. When it appears, you may have your heart far too "set" on someone who is quite literally unavailable...

I've been trawling through my emails for signs, for indicators, for signs, for help, for signs... yes, a lot of signs. I believe in them. They haven't been smacking me in the head lately. Or, rather, they have been, but until yesterday, I was accidentally on purpose doing my best to avoid reality. I wanted things to work out so badly with Irish. Why? He's sweet, he's nice, he's steady, he's Shia ... long list. And, yes, he's Khoja. That was very comforting. Speaking about Mombasa and Hujjat and Hyderi mosques. And having a system for Lakha families 1, 2 and 3 and Juma families 1, 2 and 3. Comforting, like eating mogo and kuku paka and pilao. I called him a Jekyll/Hyde person. The first time was when he stopped emailing or replying to my texts. Since then, I've called him that to my friends, and in the delusional "love letter" I sent to him two weeks ago (time goes fast even when you're in limbo). Apa says he's my dad. I...