I am feeling quite disconnected from myself. I have spent the better part of two years trying to figure myself out and had finally gotten somewhere, only to have returned to Karachi and lost most of who I was. The 'I' would have gone out for a walk and seen the duckies at the pond right now. But, then again, if I hadn't come here, I'd never have started yoga. I mean, I remember bringing home two library books but never even doing any of the poses. Here, at least I socialise a little, get thawaab for smiling and saying salaam alaikum to the yoga instructor and I get to spend time with mum (even if we don't actually say a word or make eye contact). It's just temporary, staying in Karachi. As long as I keep reminding myself that, I won't stress out and perhaps will control the anxiety I keep feeling. I'm just truly obsessed with this marriage idea because I think it will make me feel whole. Ahem. Even I know that one has to feel whole before they enter ...