Well, it bloody well feels like it! I want to scream until You have more mercy on me- yes, I asked for MORE of it!
I'm avoiding the spirituality of this month - forgot about the moon tonight, I'm slacking in my salaat, all I want to do is crib and snap at people
There is anger in my eye and in my aura
Weird-ass people re contacting me on Facebook and on Skype and the only person I ever felt anything for is not meant to be in my life ever again because he's such a wanker and dumbass.
Even anything I say has an effect in karmic terms.
I am karma - I chose all this shit with my name - every single things that has happened to me, I fucking chose it!
What was I thinking?
And now I need to change my name - and I can't figure out what to call myself.
Skye Jacques sounds really naff now and stupid ass philistines will all call it JACKS.
And it's just a name - none of this should really matter.
The human bit of me wants love and a husband and a friend and an equal in all ways and all I'm attracting are people in need of healing or just annoying me.
And it's all bullshit, she really doesn't know much, does she? Not everyone is going through the shit.
And who's to say thing will get better in November?
I always think things will shift - and nothing does.
Why is it all so messed up?
My soul is crying for so many things and all I have is a pat on the back and "tough luck, join the club".
All structures shatter and I need to now take stupid Bach Flower Remedies of walnut, wild oat and clematis because apparently being a dreamer isn't an asset, it's a liability
Intensity is my inspiration and also my downfall
Of course it is: what have I gotten out of this except really negative intense experiences?
And the rest of the world is
How is it possible that no one understands me? How is it possible that I still seek to be understood after lying through my teeth on my blog two days ago - two days go it felt true.
And today, I'm so sad and lost.
And I'm eating so much rubbish and gaining weight again, which affects my spirituality.
And I couldn't donate blood today because I have a cold or a virus or something.
And Imam Ali is just an avatar and Imam Mahdi doesn't exist.
Who are You, God?
What is this?
Show me ease, grace and flow and love.
No one wants to be with me and the people who want to be with me, they are not the right people for me.
Who the heck am I?
Why can't she see how judgemental she is? You gave her so many gifts and talents and she's still so petty and blind in certain way. even about me and the vibrations of my name!
How is it that I have none of it? Is it because I'd abuse it? Or did I abuse it in the past?
Please send me my cat tomorrow because I didn't get my cat today.
And please can I deliver only those forms - the amount is for my highest good.
Thank You for Leah, Sharon and Sally - dunno what the heck happened but whatever - they felt something.
People's programming is really biting ME in the arse.
They are SO harsh.
They are not there inside, their spirits have died and now you've made me alive again, now what?
I don't make sense and show me how I can make sense of myself and of all the people and
ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH how can you make it so confusing? So inane? So crazy? I don't get it
Remove him from my heart for good, it is too pure and healed to ever keep him in it.
And put in love of You in my heart - the husband can come whenever he is arsed to come - I'm done with all of this crap.
I'm avoiding the spirituality of this month - forgot about the moon tonight, I'm slacking in my salaat, all I want to do is crib and snap at people
There is anger in my eye and in my aura
Weird-ass people re contacting me on Facebook and on Skype and the only person I ever felt anything for is not meant to be in my life ever again because he's such a wanker and dumbass.
Even anything I say has an effect in karmic terms.
I am karma - I chose all this shit with my name - every single things that has happened to me, I fucking chose it!
What was I thinking?
And now I need to change my name - and I can't figure out what to call myself.
Skye Jacques sounds really naff now and stupid ass philistines will all call it JACKS.
And it's just a name - none of this should really matter.
The human bit of me wants love and a husband and a friend and an equal in all ways and all I'm attracting are people in need of healing or just annoying me.
And it's all bullshit, she really doesn't know much, does she? Not everyone is going through the shit.
And who's to say thing will get better in November?
I always think things will shift - and nothing does.
Why is it all so messed up?
My soul is crying for so many things and all I have is a pat on the back and "tough luck, join the club".
All structures shatter and I need to now take stupid Bach Flower Remedies of walnut, wild oat and clematis because apparently being a dreamer isn't an asset, it's a liability
Intensity is my inspiration and also my downfall
Of course it is: what have I gotten out of this except really negative intense experiences?
And the rest of the world is
How is it possible that no one understands me? How is it possible that I still seek to be understood after lying through my teeth on my blog two days ago - two days go it felt true.
And today, I'm so sad and lost.
And I'm eating so much rubbish and gaining weight again, which affects my spirituality.
And I couldn't donate blood today because I have a cold or a virus or something.
And Imam Ali is just an avatar and Imam Mahdi doesn't exist.
Who are You, God?
What is this?
Show me ease, grace and flow and love.
No one wants to be with me and the people who want to be with me, they are not the right people for me.
Who the heck am I?
Why can't she see how judgemental she is? You gave her so many gifts and talents and she's still so petty and blind in certain way. even about me and the vibrations of my name!
How is it that I have none of it? Is it because I'd abuse it? Or did I abuse it in the past?
Please send me my cat tomorrow because I didn't get my cat today.
And please can I deliver only those forms - the amount is for my highest good.
Thank You for Leah, Sharon and Sally - dunno what the heck happened but whatever - they felt something.
People's programming is really biting ME in the arse.
They are SO harsh.
They are not there inside, their spirits have died and now you've made me alive again, now what?
I don't make sense and show me how I can make sense of myself and of all the people and
ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH how can you make it so confusing? So inane? So crazy? I don't get it
Remove him from my heart for good, it is too pure and healed to ever keep him in it.
And put in love of You in my heart - the husband can come whenever he is arsed to come - I'm done with all of this crap.
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