Sakina posted this up on FB... I thought it would be interesting to see what the fundamentalist Muslim males have to say. I didn't agree with the first 2 minutes (it's all programming - who in their right mind is going to compare Lady Mariam's story of complete chastity, mother of Jesus, living in that era, with us today? WHO?) and was going to comment, then thank Goodness wisdom and lack of true interest overtook me and I told myself to disagree with it in private.
... then I continued to the end - because I REALLY liked the way he read it and the poetry flows. I liked the end bit.
(Apart from the mention of Aisha. Sorry, that's my programming kicking in. Why oh why can't you guys use Khadija, Maria, Umm-e-Salama as examples... WHY??? Why is it always Aisha? WHY????
Umm-e-Salama was there for Hussain and for Zaynab, grandchildren of the Prophet, at the time of Karbala - loyal and honourable until the VERY end; Khadija is one of the four ladies of Paradise, who gave the Prophet all of her wealth and gave birth to his only heir - Fatemah; Maria gave birth to Ibraheem, or Qasim - whichever son - do you really think all of this is just COINCIDENCE???
Okay, ranting of my very big ego is over. They're all in the other realm now, so none of this is relevant.
Finally, we have evolved to the point where these history lessons are no longer relevant. Religion is no longer relevant because Allah is asking us to expand and to transcend into the simplicity of the REAL truths.)
Shame I feel so removed from all of this now. Really removed. Except it's a great blessing to be removed from all of the fighting and the controversies that I used to feel compelled to be enmeshed in if I was to be a "true Shia Muslim, a real follower of Prophet and Ahlul Bayt".
They are angelic beings - never had to put up with all of this rubbish, did so only for us.
So if we're STILL ignorant, not their fault.
Nor is it our fault. You don't know what you don't know.
You ask Allah for mercy of the degradation and humiliation of REMAINING this ignorant.
(Prayer: Remove more of the veils from me again today, Allah... now.)
***
I've deleted Farwa from FB, but still stalked her. Lol. She posted the same video up and wrote:
***
Sigh... I remember wanting that kind of relationship... I still do. Funny, that. Not quite so embittered as I thought I was. Oh, right. I keep clearing all the dense energies so my real essence remains. So Ibecome the beautiful woman, Muslim, soul, human I know I can be.
My true essence is Love. Your true essence is the same. We all are the same.
I forgot that. Ooops :P
Oh, I also forgot that I had sent Imran the Sakeena song from Outlandish... because that's really the relationship I want. I guess I do know what I want, some of the time.
***
I took off my hijab... ha ha ha. In the pursuit of happiness. The only reason I wear it these days is because my hair really looks like RUBBISH. Or when I REALLY don't want leching men to look at me (and my crappy hair). or when I wasn't to be seen as a Muslim. And to be safe.
Only reason is that it is more embarrassing to show my straw like hair than it is to wear a hijab I don't like wearing any longer.
Anyway... maybe that's why I'm not finding any decent, upright Shia (or just Muslim) guy. Because I am no longer the decent Muslim woman who ticks the boxes.
I mean, I couldn't even keep my virginity, could I? Gave it up to a boy I never got to marry. In theory. In some weird, parallel existence where imagination and really vivid images of a guy entering you, making real, physical love to you are REAL and binding... and you really weren't thinking of him in that way until he decided to think of you in that way and do something abut it.......USING YOU when he KNEW he wasn't going to go back to you... after all that time. And you deluded yourself into thinking he would. That since you were still pining, still patient, still attached - he was, too. That since you had transformed yourself so much, he had too.
Argh.
I am not going there again.
And then all the other stuff, hijab and family relations and responsibility and living a life of purpose and having good friends.
Life is truly bizarre.
And so...
I finally thought about how to respond and wrote back. I don't need the profile any longer. I'm done. I also wanted to mess with her head again.
I had thought about telling her I'm a lesbian, or I'm dead... lol. But I told her the truth. And when I say what I said, I mean someone who is a programmed Muslim, not someone who deprogrammed himself enough to BECOME a true Muslim :)
Il y a une GRANDE différence!!!
Not that she will understand what I mean, so I gave her the short, plebeian version.
I sounded like a right prat the last two times I wrote back to her. Don't remind me!
I'm doing the same, inshallah He will grant me SUCCESS.
I didn't choose to incarnate as a Muslim randomly. Sorry. I didn't. We are all Infinite in our grand wisdom in the choices we made beforehand.
But I can also not remain the person I was programmed to be.
And all of it is okay :)
***
From: Sara The Administrator
To: sukaina@ymail.com
Sent: Friday, 13 April 2012, 19:34
Subject: Profile deletion request
17 April 2012
***
I perhaps could have deleted the second line... argh. Never MIND!
***
... then I continued to the end - because I REALLY liked the way he read it and the poetry flows. I liked the end bit.
(Apart from the mention of Aisha. Sorry, that's my programming kicking in. Why oh why can't you guys use Khadija, Maria, Umm-e-Salama as examples... WHY??? Why is it always Aisha? WHY????
Umm-e-Salama was there for Hussain and for Zaynab, grandchildren of the Prophet, at the time of Karbala - loyal and honourable until the VERY end; Khadija is one of the four ladies of Paradise, who gave the Prophet all of her wealth and gave birth to his only heir - Fatemah; Maria gave birth to Ibraheem, or Qasim - whichever son - do you really think all of this is just COINCIDENCE???
Okay, ranting of my very big ego is over. They're all in the other realm now, so none of this is relevant.
Finally, we have evolved to the point where these history lessons are no longer relevant. Religion is no longer relevant because Allah is asking us to expand and to transcend into the simplicity of the REAL truths.)
Shame I feel so removed from all of this now. Really removed. Except it's a great blessing to be removed from all of the fighting and the controversies that I used to feel compelled to be enmeshed in if I was to be a "true Shia Muslim, a real follower of Prophet and Ahlul Bayt".
They are angelic beings - never had to put up with all of this rubbish, did so only for us.
So if we're STILL ignorant, not their fault.
Nor is it our fault. You don't know what you don't know.
You ask Allah for mercy of the degradation and humiliation of REMAINING this ignorant.
(Prayer: Remove more of the veils from me again today, Allah... now.)
The parts I liked are highlighted/blocked out.
0:05
See our minds have become messed up and their now filled with pollution
0:09
Tv screens and magazines we're beginning to look for a solution
0:14
Plastic surgery, diets and pills but still not seeing any form of improvement
0:19
We've stacked up all these dollar bills but still not sure what to do with them
0:25
We began to chase women and fornication to the point our girls don't even know who's
0:29
baby she's carrying We're so afraid of commitment but have no
0:34
problem with damaging She has your kids now but your still not even
0:38
contemplating the possibility of marrying See this is what happens when we neglected
0:43
Allah's best examples you call her Mary, but we call her Mariam
0:49
A women who was perfect since birth The best to walk the skies and the best to
0:53
walk the surfaces of earth. The most exalted of all women, that's why
0:58
she was dedicated an entire chapter In the Holy Quran the final revelation in
1:04
which there will be none after
1:07
She was the best of all women, and to society she should be leading the way
1:12
I mean that's why our women be dressing like her, coz just like Mary, when Allah decrees
1:17
something we hear and we obey
1:21
See Mary used to cover up, despite everything they used to say
1:25
She would hide in hibernation, and to Allah she would pray
1:29
And when she was visited by Angels in the form of men, she said if you fear Allah you
1:35
would go away! Because in the presence of men she would not
1:40
stay
1:40
But anyways today were taught to be against segregation
1:45
Yet for in support of all forms of liberation To free yourself from the clothes that only
1:50
lead to your degradation why do you got to cover your face for? we
1:55
got to see your identification But little do they know her identities right
2:00
there a women who fears Allah and commits to her religious obligations
2:08
See I respect all women to because thats what my religion teaches
2:12
To lower your gaze when your walking there's no need to check out every women's features
2:17
There's no need to even shake another women's hand because in reality theres only one reason
2:21
why a guy would be pleased to meet you And you can go ahead and deny it but don't
2:27
blame me for stating the obvious When the pornographic industry is worth billions
2:32
you still don't see where the problem is Sex is embedded into society to the point
2:37
we'll exploit it to merely sell a car So you can act like this is all new to you
2:42
but you know for a fact How innocent we really are
2:46
How about we look at the simplistic way we're taught to dress
2:50
It's like if you dress less than your destined for success
2:53
You then force your women into heels and have the nerve to say that we oppress
2:59
You got her to dress up tightly I mean its an opportunity
3:02
But every time we lose our mind, its like see what these ladies do to me
But I'm not blaming it on the women because we too have a responsibility
3:16
Prophet Muhammad said the best of men, is he who is best in his character
3:20
and the best of them, is he who is best to his lady after he married her
3:26
He was the best to his wives I mean just take a look at Aisha
3:29
He'd compete her in races and smile just to make her happier
3:34
So when you do marry - do so with the intention of only Paradise is where to you should plan
3:39
to carry her
3:40
So the next time you think about carrying her to the alter, maybe you should alter your
3:45
decision Because if the only reason your marrying her
3:47
for is the outside then realise you'll be locked inside of a prison
3:52
For that reason, Prophet Muhammad said marry for four: Beauty, family, status but most
3:59
importantly religion Because a women without religion is a women
4:04
who could do with a bit of extra wisdom We're meant to grow old together, mercifully
4:09
so we could be protected by Allah's supervision.
4:13
But relationships are a mess and there's no guarantees your going to be a survivor
4:19
So be kind to her and know that Allah will be kinder
4:22
Be a man who stands in front but also a man who can stand beside her
4:27
And if your still looking for that good girl don't go chasing after behind her,
4:32
Rather search to find Allah first, for once you find Him your guaranteed to find her.
I've deleted Farwa from FB, but still stalked her. Lol. She posted the same video up and wrote:
Mary the virgin ♥ lesson for all sisters. You don't have to act and look fahash to be desirable.
She makes a very STRONG point. Which is why I am putting here. To remind myself, basically.
***
Sigh... I remember wanting that kind of relationship... I still do. Funny, that. Not quite so embittered as I thought I was. Oh, right. I keep clearing all the dense energies so my real essence remains. So Ibecome the beautiful woman, Muslim, soul, human I know I can be.
My true essence is Love. Your true essence is the same. We all are the same.
I forgot that. Ooops :P
Oh, I also forgot that I had sent Imran the Sakeena song from Outlandish... because that's really the relationship I want. I guess I do know what I want, some of the time.
***
I took off my hijab... ha ha ha. In the pursuit of happiness. The only reason I wear it these days is because my hair really looks like RUBBISH. Or when I REALLY don't want leching men to look at me (and my crappy hair). or when I wasn't to be seen as a Muslim. And to be safe.
Only reason is that it is more embarrassing to show my straw like hair than it is to wear a hijab I don't like wearing any longer.
Anyway... maybe that's why I'm not finding any decent, upright Shia (or just Muslim) guy. Because I am no longer the decent Muslim woman who ticks the boxes.
I mean, I couldn't even keep my virginity, could I? Gave it up to a boy I never got to marry. In theory. In some weird, parallel existence where imagination and really vivid images of a guy entering you, making real, physical love to you are REAL and binding... and you really weren't thinking of him in that way until he decided to think of you in that way and do something abut it.......USING YOU when he KNEW he wasn't going to go back to you... after all that time. And you deluded yourself into thinking he would. That since you were still pining, still patient, still attached - he was, too. That since you had transformed yourself so much, he had too.
Argh.
I am not going there again.
And then all the other stuff, hijab and family relations and responsibility and living a life of purpose and having good friends.
Life is truly bizarre.
And so...
I finally thought about how to respond and wrote back. I don't need the profile any longer. I'm done. I also wanted to mess with her head again.
I had thought about telling her I'm a lesbian, or I'm dead... lol. But I told her the truth. And when I say what I said, I mean someone who is a programmed Muslim, not someone who deprogrammed himself enough to BECOME a true Muslim :)
Il y a une GRANDE différence!!!
Not that she will understand what I mean, so I gave her the short, plebeian version.
I sounded like a right prat the last two times I wrote back to her. Don't remind me!
I'm doing the same, inshallah He will grant me SUCCESS.
I didn't choose to incarnate as a Muslim randomly. Sorry. I didn't. We are all Infinite in our grand wisdom in the choices we made beforehand.
But I can also not remain the person I was programmed to be.
And all of it is okay :)
***
From: Sara The Administrator
To: sukaina@ymail.com
Sent: Friday, 13 April 2012, 19:34
Subject: Profile deletion request
Salaam alaikum,
I am sorry to see you go. Before I delete your profile, could you
please let me know why you are leaving us. We would really appreciate
your comments/advice so that we can make the site better and to see if
there is anything we can do to make the experience better for you?
If you wish to get Diamond membership, I can offer you a very special
offer just for you: buy 6 months, get 6 months free or buy 3 months
and get 1 month free!
Once you get back to me, I will delete your profile.
Salaams
Sara
17 April 2012
Wasalaam Sara,
I am no longer interested in finding a Muslim male to be in a relationship with. I'm living my life my way :)
Thank you...
Sukaina
***
I perhaps could have deleted the second line... argh. Never MIND!
***
I keep posting music videos on FB - then when people comment, it annoys me - so I delete them! Apparently FB will force in the Timeline tomorrow. It'll be more difficult for people to navigate: one can hope!
I don't understand why people still have me on their newsfeed... why don't they DELETE me already instead of writing rubbish on my Wall??? I have NO ONE on my newsfeed because I just don't CARE!
I felt tempted to do a recap about how my birthday was yesterday... but guess what... it's just my ego creating drama. So I'm telling my ego: it was YESTERDAY and yesterday's crap goes down the toilet :)
And the good news is the people who remembered and whom I reminded came through for me.... my neighbour even gave me a birthday CARD and a present! Chocolate biscuits... not too sure if they're good for me right now. I'm trusting I'll give it as a gift to someone else and they'll share some with me :)
So as for all the others... including the former best friend. Meh. They came through for me last year or the years before. Who cares? She didn't even wish me last year. So there you go. I didn't send her a gift or card for her birthday either. I was really zombied out from September up until April :P
Conclusion: Do I really want to remember yet another day which was spent aimlessly? Without friends, without true love, without pets, without my father even wanting to wish me happy birthday, but having to, and then saying oh I don't have anything to give you....
No.
I'll remember the say in which I went for a walk, it was sunny the entire day, I helped a neighbour out, I smiled at a kid in the grocery aisle, a kid gave me a penny of mine which had fallen to the floor, I gave some money in the Oxfam Emergency Appeal box, putting on my favourite Max Factor lipgloss from the tester tube in Boots, seeing some hunky guys, Samia sending me a Facebook message, she remembered for some odd reason!!! Lynda giving me the box of biscuits and a card and money... my mum calling me, Zain Khalu's sister calling me (my khala didn't - but that's obvious, after the email I wrote to her - why go through the entire charade? Sidra replied to my meltdown message to her on FB) Sakina wrote that beautiful dedication to me on FB....
I'll remember the say in which I went for a walk, it was sunny the entire day, I helped a neighbour out, I smiled at a kid in the grocery aisle, a kid gave me a penny of mine which had fallen to the floor, I gave some money in the Oxfam Emergency Appeal box, putting on my favourite Max Factor lipgloss from the tester tube in Boots, seeing some hunky guys, Samia sending me a Facebook message, she remembered for some odd reason!!! Lynda giving me the box of biscuits and a card and money... my mum calling me, Zain Khalu's sister calling me (my khala didn't - but that's obvious, after the email I wrote to her - why go through the entire charade? Sidra replied to my meltdown message to her on FB) Sakina wrote that beautiful dedication to me on FB....
Today is your day.. Happy Birthday. with Sukaina Juma.
You've been my mirror, shining back at me with a world of possibilities. you've been my witness, who sees me at my worst and best, and loves me anyway. you've been my partner in crime, my midnight companion, someone who knows when i am smiling, even in the dark. you've been my teacher, my defense attorney, my personal press agent, even my shrink. Some days, you have also made me wish i could pull out your hair with my bare hands and somedays you have made me wish i could run to London and give you a big hug..truth is, i dont know how life would be without you. its pretty strange how we met, stranger that i randomly decided to email you. but it all happened for a reason.. i love you very very much. Happy birthday Sukaina Juma.
I need to find work but can't be bothered to look online right now. AGAIN.
SUKAINA, WAKE UP PLEASE.
11:35am - I caved and opened the biscuits, already have eaten three. They taste amazing but....DAMN. Part of me, the WISE part, wanted to give it away as a loevely gift to someone .... argh......
Everything is perfect.
Now I'll make chai and have a couple more cookies to dunk it :P
FATTTTTTTTTTTTTTY
I can still give away the biscuit tin... just eat a few. It's all good.
****
I forgot to mention how much I love this song.... so beautiful.... and relevant.... sigh..... well, the rap could have been skipped... and the weird bass d&B at the end... but Rihanna is lovely :)
I dance to all of these songs on the radio or on Youtube, imagining doing it with my husband. I tried to imagine it once, ages ago.... and I couldn't ever imagine dancing with Imran... he just doesn't seem like the type at all. And that's that. I could, funnily enough, imagine dancing with his youngest brother Ali (the clubber who went to Tenerife) and with his deceased cousin Gulam - Gulam's FUN!
Weird. Very weird.
Dancing with my husband. Another one of my standards.
Couldn't do that with Ali.... but if we had anything to go on, that would no longer be a standard. But we don't So stop feeling GUILTY, human, ego-driven part of Sukaina. God is taking care of him, as He does take care of ALL OF US.
You can't control when you'll meet the right person, so stop feeling guilty or that you weren't Ali's right person :P
That is an ORDER!
From the spirit, flawless Spirit part that is Sukaina.
***
The ego wanted to comment, so she did... then I just deleted her childish scrawlings.... argh. GET A LIFE.
Sukaina Juma Liked parts of it... the poetry, the delivery... the part of the content that was pure, untainted... thank you for sharing, babe ♥
11:35am - I caved and opened the biscuits, already have eaten three. They taste amazing but....DAMN. Part of me, the WISE part, wanted to give it away as a loevely gift to someone .... argh......
Everything is perfect.
Now I'll make chai and have a couple more cookies to dunk it :P
FATTTTTTTTTTTTTTY
I can still give away the biscuit tin... just eat a few. It's all good.
****
I forgot to mention how much I love this song.... so beautiful.... and relevant.... sigh..... well, the rap could have been skipped... and the weird bass d&B at the end... but Rihanna is lovely :)
I dance to all of these songs on the radio or on Youtube, imagining doing it with my husband. I tried to imagine it once, ages ago.... and I couldn't ever imagine dancing with Imran... he just doesn't seem like the type at all. And that's that. I could, funnily enough, imagine dancing with his youngest brother Ali (the clubber who went to Tenerife) and with his deceased cousin Gulam - Gulam's FUN!
Weird. Very weird.
Dancing with my husband. Another one of my standards.
Couldn't do that with Ali.... but if we had anything to go on, that would no longer be a standard. But we don't So stop feeling GUILTY, human, ego-driven part of Sukaina. God is taking care of him, as He does take care of ALL OF US.
You can't control when you'll meet the right person, so stop feeling guilty or that you weren't Ali's right person :P
That is an ORDER!
From the spirit, flawless Spirit part that is Sukaina.
***
The ego wanted to comment, so she did... then I just deleted her childish scrawlings.... argh. GET A LIFE.
Sukaina Juma Liked parts of it... the poetry, the delivery... the part of the content that was pure, untainted... thank you for sharing, babe ♥
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