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Fatiguée

I feel so tired. I wanted to write this as a FB status update - but then the ego realised it wouldn't really achieve anything.

Not physically - on the other levels.

Not getting a job because I wear hijab.

Not getting a guy because I'm too emotional.

Not being able to bear Imran changing his profile photo and he's now got a beard.

Not being able to get over what Imran Ali Gul did for Tazeen for her birthday. Although that makes it harder for her to let him go.

This London Imran just doesn't respect people enough to reply to emails, so it's not like I have a choice. So he's doing me a big huge-ass favour.

I wish it felt like that way on days like today.

Saw a lovely top at Dorothy Perkins for £17 - guess who won't be able to buy it? Moi.

http://www.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?beginIndex=0&viewAllFlag=&catalogId=33053&storeId=12552&productId=2670960&langId=-1&sort_field=Relevance&categoryId=264490&parent_categoryId=264487&pageSize=20

I mean, the essence and spirit part of me look at all of this, all the drama that all the other people I speak to are immersed in, the physical plane, the me me me me talk that people talk about and I hate it because it reminds me of my humanness and all the time I go me me me me me.

I want to be rid of the drama and it just doesn't seem like I'm nearer to that.

Oh God, please help a battered soul and a tired heart and a confused existence towards the light and love.

There has to be a way - show me.

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