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Karma, bloody karma

OK, so apparently I don't have to believe in reincarnation and past lives in order to go through the entire Reiki and regression phenomenon. Fair enough. I will have something interesting to report next week, after I have my session.

Life with the family is still so bloody sordid. ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

The karma bit is to do with losing my friends in real life. Deleting people off from my Facebook list, adding people on and then having people add me on. Surprisingly, those whom I deleted before. And at least one of them who would rather not meet me in real life but has no problems adding me on. Meh. Ah. It's so deep and complicated while being so shallow and stupid at the same time, that perhaps either right now is not the time to delve into it, or it's just not worth mentioning that I've already wasted 5 minutes talking about it!

Lucid dream: I'm in Iran for yet another ziyarat (lucky me!) from Qom on my way to Mashad and my khala emails me with the heading "Cold Eyes" and the body of the email has to do with "I know you ahven't contacted me and I have no desire to you except that I left my watch in the bathroom over there and I want you to bring it back when you come home" (where home is is anybody's guess, Karachi I think)

Connections: other people feel connected to me, I feel empty, void and blank. And numb. And this after wanting to badly to have all of this. Funny, life is.

I did an internet rune for the counselling course in September, it came Elhaz reversed which means, shut up and sit where you are idiot. Argh. I need to quit this longing, I need to apply to those three jobs in last Sunday's classifieds and stop being such a wanker. Someone graffittied Banker Wankers in Central London during the G20 and I just thought "If you have to quote someone as profound as David Mitchell, do it properly, mate!"

So, Hina's nikah is tonight and I hope I am much more well behaved than yester day when I went over to her house for the mehendi application. I blame it on the 3 hour reiki session and m y being smashed exhausted. She told em to wear the mint green and pale blue suit which i got in 2006 for hasnains' wedding and I was going to wear that one anyway. She's one of the friends that I've lost, or rather never really had to begin with. I gave her really crap presents, so I have a year before she has her rukhsat i and must find her an appropriate gift by then. Hopefully with my own fucking money.

Well, this is quite the dampening post. I have to do my meditations and self healing AND yoga so I can up my emotional stamina by tonight. Seeing as I am in pmt and Aunt Flo is due any day now.
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