Isle of Skye

I'm trying a little note of complete honesty. I don't think I, nor you, would be able to understand or handle an entire blog entry. Honestly , if I didn't have this horrible, sometimes entirely consuming and debilitating mood disorder - the one that sees me popping pills to make the pain stop and to make my Soul a quick exit to Level Up, I would be much further on my career path, my family life, my travel plans and my spiritual journey. Why do I say this? I'd be interested in more things like a career, like getting a job, like gaining skills to get that job, like finding a life partner, like falling in love, like marrying. I'd be able to pick and choose my own family and keep the real one for special occasions only. I'd have earned the energy called money to travel; I'd have all sorts of energy, full stop. I'd have what I call proper friends. I'd live in the places I wanted, I'd be more of the person I wanted. I'd have the wisdom to be the co...

On what looks like the latest in Iranian Revolutions "We should go under the rain. We should wash our eyes, And we should see the world in a different way." Sohrab Sepehri Wallahi, the people have spoken. I never thought that Ahmedinejad would win a second term; I was right (yay for me). This is why there's different societies. Nothing even remotely like this would happen in Britain. When Gordon took over, I mean. We're all worried about our jobs - they come first. Machine, machine: no matter what state the machine is in, even if it's producing weapons, even if all it's producing is soot and smog - the machine must be kept running. Because now it's become the end in itself, and not a pathway to further evolution. And then there's Iran. Well, the populace that has stood up and asked "Where's my vote?" At least they have the BALLS to ask that question. I don't. Shodja Ziaian complained that there's a difference in the stages of dev...

I now go beyond other peoples fears and limitations. It is my mind that creates my experiences. I am unlimited in my own ability to create the good in my life.

I honestly feel like causing some serious devastation to someone to whom it would hurt a lot, a lot. No amount of writing has helped me today, the fury seethes within my being and I just hate the baanality of the existence I not only find myself in but also all the periphery people keep indulging in. Periphery: such a good descriptive word to how all these people are. And I'll keep searching for some meaning and it will keep eluding me. Even writing on this blog is a load of bullshit. After seeing Babel on tv, I no longer want to travel le Maghreb. A lot of the same bullshit. Cultural and Tower of Babel crises and everything. I don't even understand my own cultures so why the fuck would I want to be steeped in arab culture and language? And I don't give a shit that I sound ethnicist and racist and whatever. It's honest, at least. And a feeling is just that; I don't act upon anything at all. I don't act. That's it. I don't act. What an effing epiphany.

LS 157 Originally uploaded by newnumenor Agh j'suis trop jalouse! I've tried to get good cemetery shots and it doesn't seem to happen with me... and this guy... jeezuz!

Darling London, I look at the date and I know what's happening or soon to happen to you. Wimbledon tennis and strawberries and cream. Then there's Glastonbury, T in the Park, the cricket and football. There's the ice cream man who makes his rounds each day round Templecombe but I never buy from him because I'm just shy. There's Oasis songs and Travis songs that just emanate summer. There's me lazing around the house because I have nothing to do and nowhere to go and that sucks in a way. There's those three weeks and random days of pure heat and us complaining "oh I just couldn't sleep" because honestly, we couldn't sleep AND we have carpeting. I think it's because we don't usually have a breeze in the built up areas so it feels a lot worse than if we lived by the sea. Landlocked misery. If I write anymore, I'll be complaining about your negative sides or all the opportunities I haven't or will not be able to avail! But, no m...

I wish Louise L. Hay would stop making me think about loving myself and making me cry so much when I realise how much I hate myself.... and find myself weak, embarrassing and a no gooder. Please watch this . And then watch this . And then give yourself a big hug, first from me and then from yourself :) Trying to love myself and you, Suki...