I honestly don't know what part to write about.
The stuff on here is so awful. If anyone is reading this, please understand that I was undergoing intense and unknown psychic attack and people were removing all the goodness from my energy on purpose. There were entities inflicting a lot of pain on my mind and soul, and a lot of what I wrote and said was not even genuinely from me.
I am an entirely new person.
And after 15 long years, I'm finally on a writing course and now have to write something to be workshopped for next week.
But I don' t know what to write about.
As I hesitantly turned the corner at Hackney Wick station, I realised that I had once again created a fantasy about the sort of experience I was going to have at the Aho Centre. The name itself was enough to bring to my mind a thousand images of the mystical and exotic world of shamans. Although I myself was an energy healer and had experienced a sizeable amount of paranormal experiences, some of which had scarred me afterwards, the word shaman just had a mystique unto itself.
I was here to meet the well-known Gareth Hughes. He had been recommended to me as one of the most powerful shamans in England, and to whom I delayed going to for two months after I discovered I needed an immediate entity removal and soul retrieval.
I had looked him up online in order to investigate him, and saw the face of a cheerful blond Caucasian man who lived in Essex. It was not what I was expecting at all. He had a beautiful smile, somehow made complete by a gaping hole where he had a lost tooth in his bottom jaw. I couldn't see how he had attained all this great healing power, this smiley man who seemed to be very obsessed with gardening and planting trees. He didn't fit the role of the powerful shaman that I needed to help me rid myself of the demons that had been hounding me for years, draining me into a husk of a person, and yet none of the other healers had been able to diagnose.
But then again, I reasoned with myself as I sent him a text message, wasn't it I who was the gullible so-called healer who had been living her chaotic and unsuccessful life for years, entirely clueless or in denial about heavy dark magic done by various persons from Zanzibar, Pakistan and most recently, my healer Sidra, all of which had the added benefits of attracting a ferocious jinn entity possession.
Aisha had told me this at Mysteries, Covent Garden when I went to her for a reading. I was constantly sick whilst working in that small shop of crystals and tarot cards, constantly feeling like I wanted to vomit. On my days off, I was exhausted and kept wanting to end my life. It was a dire situation, and the heavy grey fog that was constantly in my mind didn't allow me to seek a solution.
So I finally booked a session with Aisha, and climbed the creaky staircase for my own session with her. I sat at a tab;e-cloth covered wooden table, and squinted my eyes in the dim lighting to see her properly. At first, I thought she was of Arab ethnicity, but later on I discovered she was from Nairobi, Kenya. Yet another link to my ancestry.
It made sense, of course, when she told me.
"I can see a lot of dark magic has been done on you, and there is a lot of envy darts upon you. You also have a jinn that is inhabiting your body. This is why you keep wanting to kill yourself." She had a very soft and almost seductive tone, which I imagine was the only reason I didn't scream or become agitated when the truth came out.
I believed her. There was no reason for her to lie. I trusted her energy.
I was stunned into silence. I began gagging a little, and reached for the glass of water that was in front of me.
"Dark magic? Jinn? Are you sure? I thought it had all gone. I prayed a lot for it to go. I left Sidra a year ago and asked Allah to protect me. She was using jinn to curse us, instead of healing us. Not just me, a lot of people."
"Yes. Removal of this sort of dark magic and jinn, it needs to be done by ruqyah. Recitation of Qur'anic verses. You need to go to someone who is very powerful and has dealt with this. I don't do this sort of work, because then the entities all leave the client and end up attaching to the healer. I don't want to get involved. I will give you some things to recite, and some prayers to listen to for protection. I will give you names of some shamans I know who can do good entity removal as well."
Her voice began to fade out, then in, and I silently told myself to maintain my dignity, even though my entire world and heart was breaking once again at discovering the root cause to all of the ruins and pain that was my life since age 22.
"Audhu-billahi-rabbil- aalameen, bismillah...."
Aisha began reciting the soothing verses of the Holy Qur'an, and the names of the saints. I was still feeling hollow and in shock, yet burst into deep profound tears when she clasped on tightly to my hands and said the name of Hussain (peace be upon him). My heart felt as though it stopped for a few seconds. I wasn't able to breathe. The low lighting became blurry for a while, sounds faded away. There was a long expectant pause within me... And then my heart reactivated again.
I took in a sharp breath. I felt a huge heaviness release from my heart area, and more tears came pouring down my face, as Aisha grabbed some tissues to help me wipe them. My entire body began shaking. They call them kriyas in Sanskrit, and I experienced them each time some dark energy, negative emotion was released from my energetic field. It took me a while to get back to normal, and I wanted to lie down and rest, to process what I had just experienced. But, as I was a waged employee, I had to immediately go back to work downstairs to resume selling overpriced spiritual merchandise to the confused, traumatised and amateur spiritual seeker.
The Aho Centre wasn't a grandoise, sleek or particularly beautiful building. There were no swaying palm trees in the breeze, nor did I smell the enticing, spicy scent of frankincense traipsing through the winter air. It was in the middle of Hackney Wick, in an up-and-coming area no doubt, but there was still gum and cigarettes imprinted into the grey concrete slabs of pavement. And getting here was the same as it was getting anywhere in London: people were still equally rude and aggressive, making my soul die a little bit more inside.
When I came closer, I realised it was less of a centre, and more of a room. One large room. There were a dozen people around, chatting away, and I could see some dream catchers in the window.
I asked for Gareth at the entrance, and I was told me to take a seat and wait while he finished with his client before me.
The lively chatter about Peru, the tribes there, and the deforestation of Palo Santo trees was somewhat comforting, as I needed some sort of mundane thing to keep my mind away from the constant dread and darkness that had consumed my thoughts ever since my reading with Aisha.
Then I noticed Freya. She was sitting quietly on the floor, her deep brown eyes emanating wisdom and tranquillity as she glanced at the others going about their business. One of the ladies sitting in the waiting area with me introduced us, and I said, "Hello, Freya!" with as much enthusiasm I could muster.
Freya looked at me briefly, and then went back to lying down on the floor. Her body language came across as tired
And, of course, I had no knowledge of how to remove any of this by myself. No matter what sorts of healing modalities I had learned, or wanted to learn, the truth was that I was entirely helpless in the face of such darkness and witchcraft.
Comments