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The parents

Your Type Four EnneaThought for January 13th—

Reflect on your childhood today. As a child, did you believe you were not like your parents? Did you feel that you were not "seen" by your parents and that you did not connect sufficiently with your parents? As an adult, what does this have to do with you now? (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, 182)

As I've said myriad times before, these things just slap me in the face with a wet fish most days.

I suppose it makes sense that I should send Reiki healing to my relationships with my father and my mother. Haven't really done that for ages. It's too hard sometimes, I choose to ignore and avoid dealing with them mainly because these are the two people I've been connected with since birth.

A lot of effort is required in order to 'let things slide'.

Living with my dad is hell, and I'm co-creating it on purpose, as part of my desire to annoy, to hurt him the way he hurts me.

My mum, well, I guess we're okay. I love her; we just haven't must to say most days. But she rings me almost daily, and for that I shall be ever grateful. It's like a promise she made to herself after my depression. She's giving me what I need. Well, maybe I should listen to her more. And figure out what she needs.

I've stopped complaining to her about everything. I've also stopped crying on the phone with her. I didn't tell her about my dad's latest threat over the weekend. That's progress.

A random thought occurred to me two days ago as I was drifting off to sleep: What can I do to make my dad's life easier? I felt very compassionate and forgiving for that little while.

Definitely a message from my Higher Self.

Need to act upon that thought. Move your butt, Suki!
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