No more drama

Remember how insanity is doing something in the same manner and expecting different results?

Here's proof

what did I repeat?

Listening to Sidra's suggestion about going on the website
Caving into what might have been intuition and also impulsivity about going back onto the same bloody

website I met Imran on
Putting my photos up
Having to say no to the men I am not interested in and having those I was interested in back off or show

no interest or decency to respond
writing what I think is an honest and truthful and yet compassionate email and then getting a response like the 

one I got from Akhlaq below emails like this:


14-09-2011

Salaam Akhlaq,

Thanks for taking out the time from to email - I am sure it must be a really busy time for you!

InshaAllah your surgery will go well on Monday and please don't worry about replying to me - you take your 

time and do what needs to be done with uni and your health and your life :)

To be honest, I think I'm going to take a break from SimplyShia for a while - I don't think it's the right place for

someone like me to look for a spouse :)

I'm too different - so maybe I should be honest and say that although I find you to be a really nice guy, I don't 

think that there is much in common :) In fact, I know that there is not much in common :)

Anyway, do feel free to reply whenever you have time - I shall check next weekend!

Praying for your health and that your life flows smoothly and you are always protected and guided :)

Take care of yourself!

Khuda hafiz,

Sukaina :)
On Thu, Sep 15, 2011 at 06:24 PM

AoA Sukaina!

Thanks for all good words and wishes for me.

 So,We have got nothing common .....hhahahahaaa.....we even dident  know our differences.....was not it? 

 What a  nice way to say NO.......I must admire :)

 Dont worry! Sukainah! 

 It was mere a start, we even dident start sharing views and thoughts but U concluded....we are different. No problem!

I am not convincing U or teaching U some thing but trust me, life is not all about commonalities, U dont find mirror image of urself in real life as God has created every one different. It will definitely be a good thing if U have common interests but at the same time  it can be very interesting and thrilling when U have different likings and dislikings. For example if wife support Man.United and husband like Arsenal, will this difference ever lead to a separation or divorce between a husband and wife. No, definitely not, rivilary will disappear with the last whistle of the match referee.

I am also not in the opinion that one should not try to find the ideal but just sayin I m too different is only conveying the message that U are after some one who is also too different. Thats something which makes me laugh.

U know! the day U told me that U will be in contact with me only on simplyshia against my offer of personal E-mail, I realized the apprehensions in ur mind some where. I thought it is a girlie thing, should't be worried. 

So for! we were just knowing each others well being, not more than this but U discovered we are different :) its bit funny....innay:)

My profile does't say much as I dont believe in writing about myself as no one will say bad things about himself while he is given a chance. Judgment is not some thing easy or U cant judge ppl just by the words they write.

I was thinking to ask U to have a chat with me on SS or even U could have called me with ur withheld number and ask question or just talk and talk again. U know! Shaadi is really a big discision and U dont do it in a while. U talk and talk and talk and it can go over a long time and U are still not sure but U might have better idea of some one's personality.

And I believe, U will not say YES in a next moment even if U find an Ideal or a person who U think he has got loads of common things with U. 

I should stop it now as the longer I keep writing the stronger U will think that I am tryin to convince U. 

I dont wana give any verdict about U as I dont know much about U, just wana say U very good luck in ur search. and do pray! U find a man who is like U, who reflects U and there is much common between U and him.

Apna bohot kheyal rakhna

Allaha hafiz

Akhlaq     



He is angry and I didn't like the energy behind the email - similar to Imran (again, no surprise there)

I cried a bit last night, got fed up about the humiliation and the karma I am once again creating and so I wrote another one of my emo emails (hey, I was feeling upset!):
On Fri, Sep 16, 2011 at 10:37 PM, Sukaina Juma wrote:

Dear Sara,

Salaam - I have just requested through the site for you to delete my SimplyShia account - the username is skyejacques

I am writing to you to confirm this request - the reason being I think it is even more painful being here the second time than it was the first time

I thought I was saving myself the shame and embarrassment of doing this through "matchmakers"

This seems to be just as painful

Please remember me in your du'a - that a miracle or something occurs and I actually do get married in this short lifetime to the right person - how on Earth can it be this difficult?

Thank you and take care,

Sukaina

Saturday, 17 September 2011, 10:36

Message Body

Thank you! This has been done!

We wish you all the best in your search!

salaams
Sara


LOL - she must get so fed up of me :D

I am still going to pray for all of the man-boys - especially Akhlaq because he is a nice guy, just so not the guy for me - there is nothing to go on - I shall send him healing for Monday's surgery

And it pissed me off that after everything, this is what I am still attracting

I lasted 16 days this time - lol
 
It is demeaning and uncool and undignified and I do not like having to reject people who are so nice

Except he wrote in huge letters in this email and also said "I don't wanna give any verdict about you" and oh gosh - any husband of mine is going to be a little more accommodating and understanding and think along the lines that if it's meant to, I'd choose to come back

My Allah - you gave Khadijah, Fatemah and Zaynab so much ezzat and honour as being women and protecting their dignities and honours - so why am I getting the humilations and the unsavoury bits?


In other great news, my dad found Teddy today! He was hiding underneath a chair in this room, the dining room - naughty boy!

Came at just the right time - when I need some squeezy, squishy HUGS!

In other news, just came back from an entire day workshop with Gen and Caroline and Leah and got myself another roze quartz crystal and made a fool of myself some of the time and it's all gooooooooood!

So many hot boys in London - I keep checking them out but not really checking them out - so I end up actually wanting to check them out but can't because then they'll know - so I'm hypothetically checking out guys - but not really :P

Ha ha ha ha

I can however report that they keep looking at me - men, women etc - it's the energy work - Art told us it would happen - you feel drawn to someone and can't understand why :)

Teddy teddy teddy!!!!! Yay!!! :D