And jack. I'm still procrastinating about the job applications. I'm still getting verbal diarrhoea (will I ever learn how to spell the damned word?!)
It's hot and sunny in London - I find it absolutely GORGEOUS!
I want to go for a run and I think I shall - hunt down Chuck, get some feline loving, so that I can get back and do those damned applications.
Talk about self sabotage.
Why?
I still feel I lack sleep, still have that damned cold hounding me, been overeating like NUTS.
Sidika Govani randomly called me last night and we nattered for an hour (the verbal floods came up there) - I ended up talking a lot :P She mentioned a man-boy in London looking for his life partner: 30 years old, Khoja :P and rich, apparently :P
I just said, oh why not? I started telling her "oh tell him I don't want kids and that I don't have a job" and then I had to rephrase all those things after she told me, "hey that's something you talk to him about".
Again, I went back into the pattern :P And again, they introduce people without caring about the consequences *sigh* Life is a process, right?
And yesterday was okay, and today I'm again censoring myself in my head - sigh - the Khoja connection ain't never going to happen. And I remember she mentioned something about his family and that made me cringe *cringes again*
I'm just saying Yes to what presents: being open. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, and then leaves after the lessons and the reasons have been served :P
Jemma asked me to help out with Art's workshop on 11/11/11 and I'm so grateful for the attention and the respect :) So yay I get to go for free :) Sidra said she felt Art would facilitate me and she'll do my Soul Contract reading on Skype - hope soon - need some focus.
Oh God, it's 9:52 and I'm listening to Craig David and FB stalking people.
Fever in my head, cold, body aching.
Allah - please. I really need help from my self sabotaging ways today. Angels, healing team, every single itty bit of spiritual help available to me - please make yourselves known and help me today, give me what i need to make this day a day I look back at and am proud of.
And that includes taking away all thoughts about marriage, all procrastination and not wanting to work feelings and just the tendency to fall sick all the time. And not being centred and looking to others for validation and attention instead of realising that Allah is all I need.
And stop posting status updates that people misinterpret and then I have to comment and comment and comment!
ARGHHHHH!!!!
I need rest and vitality. Where is it?????
Going to eat breakfast and go for a walk/run - can't really run because the left and right thighs are furious at me for being furious at them on Friday evening.
Anyone read this - please send some thoughts to Allah to make my way easy and a way through the blocks to my applying for jobs I can so totally DO :(
Oh gosh, I'm crying now - must be stuff needing to release.
And heal all my relationships, starting with my relationship with myself and with You, dearest Allah.
And all my relationships with family and friends and strangers and future peeps. Too much drama otherwise and I love them all so much on a spirit level! And my current state of affairs means I can't send texts or presents to any of them.
You love me infinitely, why can't I love myself and You that much and with that much intensity?
Oh, good, tomorrow is 1st of the Islamic month - new beginnings again :)
Breathe and clear mind - I am the embodiment of peace.... and success and abundance and motivation and action. Confidence and acting as though it's already done.
Bugger, I'm too tired to even step out of the house, I'll do yoga in the back garden.
Oh and please heal my skin - it's doing that cracking, dry thing again :(
just in case it's not crystal clear: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP ME OH LORD!!! I love you!!!
It's hot and sunny in London - I find it absolutely GORGEOUS!
I want to go for a run and I think I shall - hunt down Chuck, get some feline loving, so that I can get back and do those damned applications.
Talk about self sabotage.
Why?
I still feel I lack sleep, still have that damned cold hounding me, been overeating like NUTS.
Sidika Govani randomly called me last night and we nattered for an hour (the verbal floods came up there) - I ended up talking a lot :P She mentioned a man-boy in London looking for his life partner: 30 years old, Khoja :P and rich, apparently :P
I just said, oh why not? I started telling her "oh tell him I don't want kids and that I don't have a job" and then I had to rephrase all those things after she told me, "hey that's something you talk to him about".
Again, I went back into the pattern :P And again, they introduce people without caring about the consequences *sigh* Life is a process, right?
And yesterday was okay, and today I'm again censoring myself in my head - sigh - the Khoja connection ain't never going to happen. And I remember she mentioned something about his family and that made me cringe *cringes again*
I'm just saying Yes to what presents: being open. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, and then leaves after the lessons and the reasons have been served :P
Jemma asked me to help out with Art's workshop on 11/11/11 and I'm so grateful for the attention and the respect :) So yay I get to go for free :) Sidra said she felt Art would facilitate me and she'll do my Soul Contract reading on Skype - hope soon - need some focus.
Oh God, it's 9:52 and I'm listening to Craig David and FB stalking people.
Fever in my head, cold, body aching.
Allah - please. I really need help from my self sabotaging ways today. Angels, healing team, every single itty bit of spiritual help available to me - please make yourselves known and help me today, give me what i need to make this day a day I look back at and am proud of.
And that includes taking away all thoughts about marriage, all procrastination and not wanting to work feelings and just the tendency to fall sick all the time. And not being centred and looking to others for validation and attention instead of realising that Allah is all I need.
And stop posting status updates that people misinterpret and then I have to comment and comment and comment!
ARGHHHHH!!!!
I need rest and vitality. Where is it?????
Going to eat breakfast and go for a walk/run - can't really run because the left and right thighs are furious at me for being furious at them on Friday evening.
Anyone read this - please send some thoughts to Allah to make my way easy and a way through the blocks to my applying for jobs I can so totally DO :(
Oh gosh, I'm crying now - must be stuff needing to release.
And heal all my relationships, starting with my relationship with myself and with You, dearest Allah.
And all my relationships with family and friends and strangers and future peeps. Too much drama otherwise and I love them all so much on a spirit level! And my current state of affairs means I can't send texts or presents to any of them.
You love me infinitely, why can't I love myself and You that much and with that much intensity?
Oh, good, tomorrow is 1st of the Islamic month - new beginnings again :)
Breathe and clear mind - I am the embodiment of peace.... and success and abundance and motivation and action. Confidence and acting as though it's already done.
Bugger, I'm too tired to even step out of the house, I'll do yoga in the back garden.
Oh and please heal my skin - it's doing that cracking, dry thing again :(
just in case it's not crystal clear: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALP ME OH LORD!!! I love you!!!
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