Somehow, last night before I went to sleep, my subconscious told me it was perfectly okay to email Imran before Ramadhan began so as to "bury the hatchet" and become friends... I spent a few hours formulating my email. I woke up and was still thinking it was okay. That I had forgiven and wanted to just be forgiven in order to move onto my next dude (had a dream about him the night before. The energy was of my guy's but the face was of that dude from EastEnders.
Or maybe something. I dunno. I thought perhaps this is my intuition, guidance.
Then the thought came to me that the wanker couldn't even be bothered to send me an Eid card last Eid - when he sent one to everyone else.
And I said "Hell no, WTF are you thinking Sukaina? Intuition and guidance, my ass. It's just a sense of lack and boredom and a means of distraction. Don't forget that, whilst you have changed, he may have NOT!"
Okay, so I think I am ready once again to start sending out romantic relationship vibes.
To a completely different person - my TRUE spouse-to-be. I mean, I have more than one emotionally repressed, button-pushing, couldn't-care-less, man-boy soul mate, n'est-ce pas?
And preferably, more to my liking, and not a repeat of a prat like Imran (as much as I am still fond of him).
He hasn't changed. He may even be in a relationship, engaged or married (I sense he must be or shall be in one soon) for all I know. So what the hell will I do then?
And we really don't have anything much in common to be "friends".
And he really has treated me shabbily and he has not bothered in 6 months.
So WTF am I doing thinking about it, then?
I don't even LIKE the name Imran.
It is actually I M RAN! Hahahaha!
I don't even like him all that much, either. So unaware, SO unaware! So unattached, distant. In need of healing for sure, and I am only going to help him out when he asks for it energetically and not waste my time before that. I have so many other people - including myself - to bother about. HMPH!
I'll only help you heal yourself if you stop hooking into me, which means I gotta sort out the remnants of my attachment to you. I cherish you way too much for someone who is gone forever.
I also still have to forgive myself :( Properly.
Argh. End of.
I do realise that any extra days I use stuck on him, hooking into his memory, those many days keep me away from the new guy. That many extra days I remain celibate :p
Love your life as it is, accept and love yourself and your life situation and send out energetic vibes to attract a really aware and awakened soul. Not him :p
I just had to write this out... because it's just dumb. So dumb. Little 5 year-old Suki who thinks she's a seahorse, penguin or crab, destined to mate for life with the first person she fell in love with, because that's just so romantic and loyal and virtuous and dignified and chaste... SHIFT ALREADY!!!
Hope this is old pattern's gone for good after today... SCAT!
~~~
My dad's recovering form the surgery, they are sending him to the ward.
A calm has descended.
Life is unfolding perfectly.
I choose to remain in the present and not project into the future, as yet unknown to me.
"Even though I don't know what the future holds, I trust that everything is working out perfectly for me."
Tap, tap, tap!
I am getting the job I desire. This month.
Now I'm tapping into everybody's (including Imran's) energy to gain access to the motivation and the energies that grab the actual job and salary.
Thank you, Allah. Graçias. Merci.... shukran.....
I love You, my dear Creator, my dearest Confidant, my shelter when I have none, the Provider of all my need before I even know what I need or what to want and how to ask for it all....
Please help me to raise my vibration so that I can then raise those of others.
I allow Your power and grace to flow through me.
It is all God.
Or maybe something. I dunno. I thought perhaps this is my intuition, guidance.
Then the thought came to me that the wanker couldn't even be bothered to send me an Eid card last Eid - when he sent one to everyone else.
And I said "Hell no, WTF are you thinking Sukaina? Intuition and guidance, my ass. It's just a sense of lack and boredom and a means of distraction. Don't forget that, whilst you have changed, he may have NOT!"
Okay, so I think I am ready once again to start sending out romantic relationship vibes.
To a completely different person - my TRUE spouse-to-be. I mean, I have more than one emotionally repressed, button-pushing, couldn't-care-less, man-boy soul mate, n'est-ce pas?
And preferably, more to my liking, and not a repeat of a prat like Imran (as much as I am still fond of him).
He hasn't changed. He may even be in a relationship, engaged or married (I sense he must be or shall be in one soon) for all I know. So what the hell will I do then?
And we really don't have anything much in common to be "friends".
And he really has treated me shabbily and he has not bothered in 6 months.
So WTF am I doing thinking about it, then?
I don't even LIKE the name Imran.
It is actually I M RAN! Hahahaha!
I don't even like him all that much, either. So unaware, SO unaware! So unattached, distant. In need of healing for sure, and I am only going to help him out when he asks for it energetically and not waste my time before that. I have so many other people - including myself - to bother about. HMPH!
I'll only help you heal yourself if you stop hooking into me, which means I gotta sort out the remnants of my attachment to you. I cherish you way too much for someone who is gone forever.
I also still have to forgive myself :( Properly.
Argh. End of.
I do realise that any extra days I use stuck on him, hooking into his memory, those many days keep me away from the new guy. That many extra days I remain celibate :p
Love your life as it is, accept and love yourself and your life situation and send out energetic vibes to attract a really aware and awakened soul. Not him :p
I just had to write this out... because it's just dumb. So dumb. Little 5 year-old Suki who thinks she's a seahorse, penguin or crab, destined to mate for life with the first person she fell in love with, because that's just so romantic and loyal and virtuous and dignified and chaste... SHIFT ALREADY!!!
Hope this is old pattern's gone for good after today... SCAT!
~~~
My dad's recovering form the surgery, they are sending him to the ward.
A calm has descended.
Life is unfolding perfectly.
I choose to remain in the present and not project into the future, as yet unknown to me.
"Even though I don't know what the future holds, I trust that everything is working out perfectly for me."
Tap, tap, tap!
I am getting the job I desire. This month.
Now I'm tapping into everybody's (including Imran's) energy to gain access to the motivation and the energies that grab the actual job and salary.
Thank you, Allah. Graçias. Merci.... shukran.....
I love You, my dear Creator, my dearest Confidant, my shelter when I have none, the Provider of all my need before I even know what I need or what to want and how to ask for it all....
Please help me to raise my vibration so that I can then raise those of others.
I allow Your power and grace to flow through me.
It is all God.
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