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Waiting for the explosion

It's so close, I can almost pretend that I can almost taste it.

Independence. Individuality. Strength. Creativity. Intuition. Trust. Love. Courage. Spiritual knowledge. Wisdom. Action. Joy. Groundedness. Abundance. Prosperity. Knowingness.

God bless Tazeen, Sidra and Art.

Thank You, Allah.

Everyone else sees it, feels it. Save for me. Except, whenever they do the wellness readings, it bolsters me up. If only I had the courage to ask Art directly all the burning questions I have.

Show me my path. Let me start receiving. Let me be okay with receiving. And the patterns that need meaning, grant me understanding. The things I don't understand now, place them before me in a manner that I can understand.

Help me get out of my own way.

Help me support myself.

While they were doing a reading on my clairvoyance, I tried to read Imran. And then, for a minute, I thought I was still in love with him.

So, please grant me resolution... you know I deserve it, and more importantly, I do need it.

Oh, and stop me from eating any more biscuits and chocolates.

Thank you....

Intention: tomorrow is going to be an amazing day, full of synchronicity, intuition, connectedness, knowingness, groundedness and all sort of wonderful stuff.

I'll remember everything I learned today. And put it all into practice.

Thank You, Allah. You're so unbelievably kind.

I kind of wish I wasn't in the dark for 27 years. But I guess I was. And this new darkness will seem oppressive a few years down the line. Oh, the joys of being a human.

I am so taking Level 3 in May. Make it happen! I will make mine own abundance for this and all the other things I need in order to lead the life You and I have chosen for me.

It has to happen. Now.

P.S. Funny how I allow every other person to call me Suki: Duncan and Gabriele call me that... sounds great in a male Italian accent ;)

But I just couldn't let Imran call me that. He did in spite of my refusal... and I loved it but it scared the heck out of me. When he wrote it down, it felt like he was under my skin and had access to the most vulnerable part of me. And I wasn't willing to share it. As he wasn't willing to share his vulnerable side with me. He refused to let me ignite the healing process.

Oh well... 'twas never meant to be. Let the regret go... you deserve better, so set your standards higher...

That's it. New moon tomorrow night. Let him GO. FOR GOOD. You don't even have to heal him. God will do it through other means.
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