The BESTEST OneRepublic song.
I listened to it when I was with him, when I wasn't with him... and, again, today.
Signs from the Universe. Synchronicities - I'll pretend it is so.
One Republic - Say (All I Need) lyrics
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
~~~
Guess who she was looking for last weekend as she travelled into the Harrow/Stanmore area? Or when she stepped onto the Jubilee line train on the way home?
Absolutely ridiculous.
Suki, the real deal, the twin flame, the soul mate will not appear magically into your life with background music and hair swaying in the wind if you're STILL latching onto Immy.
Separate the different levels of love you are capable of.
Delegate him to the part that is spiritual, universal, holy and abstract. That's all there ever was, anyway. You don't know him. You never did. You didn't want to meet him. For a reason.
If he was meant to be in your life, he would be in your life.
He wouldn't wait for four months and not try to reconnect.
And neither would you have waited these four months and not contacted him again.
The proof is in the "lack of desire to contact him" pudding.
When I miss him too much, you know what I tell myself to feel better?
"At least he can't hurt me anymore." That's not love, that's fear. That's my being burnt so badly, I am shy to do anything at all new regarding my matrimonials.
Lat week, I went to visit relatives. The topic about men came up, my cousin asked if I've been looking. I just said that I am still recovering from the first time. My cousin thought it was unreal and hilarious that I am 27 and had such a ridiculous story to tell i.e. not having enough confidence to meet him. And I've moved from where I was at the time I was living it, so that I can heartedly laugh at my imbecility. But it was real at the time.
Her mum mentioned a boy from India who has reverted and therefore is not Khoja although his mum was (she died) and is finding it difficult to find someone because of the revert issue. My empathic tendencies rose and I felt "well, I have to give him a chance" but immediately after, I said to myself " No, you're still so burnt. You need to take care of yourself, love yourself, be yourself. Learn what independence and freedom really is. And get over the fiasco of the first time."
Of course, I have been tempted to contact Imran, as part of my old pattern. But there is no crazy compulsion like all the previous times. And I am immensely grateful to God for that. I can harmlessly internet creep him all I like: FB, LinkedIn (I think he got a promotion since he changed his work title) and Skype - yes, so tantalisingly close to his sexy voice - yet so far.
I know it seems that when I blog, all I seem to be doing is focussing on him, or on the fact that I don't have the significant person in my life yet.
Well, I don't have a job, so can't keep yammering on about the lack thereof.
A lot else is happening within me, but I don't want to talk about it here. It's my personal journey and I choose not to share it with anyone at the moment. I choose to be mysterious and secretive.
To be honest, I don't even know how to talk about it. Not a lot seems to be happening the way I would like it to or do it, had I any control over it. I'm basing my entire trust in the fact that something must be happening.
Maybe I talk about him so much because he's a figment of imagination and he is effectively now part of the past. So it is now safe to talk of him. No longer relevant. *shrugs* Maybe something will click and I'll learn the lessons and make the decisions.
One thing: I'm having major issues with all of my soul mates. I'm so bloody glad I only have a few and not as many as some other people. I thought it was crummy to have so few significant people in my life, to not be surrounded by love and friendship in a physical way.
Now I have a feeling my Higher Self knew full damned well what it was doing.
Each of my encounters has the bloody intensity the equivalent of 20 for others.
I listened to it when I was with him, when I wasn't with him... and, again, today.
Signs from the Universe. Synchronicities - I'll pretend it is so.
One Republic - Say (All I Need) lyrics
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
~~~
Releasing
Let go of all that is holding you back. This may be things from the past, in previous lives or present ones. You need to release the anger, hurt and resentments that are preventing you from moving on with your life. Archangel Zadkiel is the Angel associated with this word and you can call on his silver violet flame to transmute these feelings. Imagine a circle of these flames and place the people, situations or feelings into the centre. This cannot harm you or the people you love but will burn away the negative emotions.
The colour violet is a spiritual master and brings enlightenment, clarity and vision. This colour is about spiritual growth and works with the highest levels of thought without using the physical senses.
Bring this colour into your life with purple foods such as aubergine, red cabbage, broccoli, figs and plums to help you to face conflicts in your life. Using lavender and purple flowers and plants, along with amethyst will comfort you and protect you.
The Archangel associated with this word is Zadkiel and you can call on his silver violet flame to purify body, mind and soul, to heal emotions and negative beliefs. This will help you to move on with your life, bringing forgiveness for yourself and others.
~~~
Suki still has a LOT of releasing to do. On all levels, with all people, in all lifetimes, it's not all just about him.The colour violet is a spiritual master and brings enlightenment, clarity and vision. This colour is about spiritual growth and works with the highest levels of thought without using the physical senses.
Bring this colour into your life with purple foods such as aubergine, red cabbage, broccoli, figs and plums to help you to face conflicts in your life. Using lavender and purple flowers and plants, along with amethyst will comfort you and protect you.
The Archangel associated with this word is Zadkiel and you can call on his silver violet flame to purify body, mind and soul, to heal emotions and negative beliefs. This will help you to move on with your life, bringing forgiveness for yourself and others.
~~~
Guess who she was looking for last weekend as she travelled into the Harrow/Stanmore area? Or when she stepped onto the Jubilee line train on the way home?
Absolutely ridiculous.
Suki, the real deal, the twin flame, the soul mate will not appear magically into your life with background music and hair swaying in the wind if you're STILL latching onto Immy.
Separate the different levels of love you are capable of.
Delegate him to the part that is spiritual, universal, holy and abstract. That's all there ever was, anyway. You don't know him. You never did. You didn't want to meet him. For a reason.
If he was meant to be in your life, he would be in your life.
He wouldn't wait for four months and not try to reconnect.
And neither would you have waited these four months and not contacted him again.
The proof is in the "lack of desire to contact him" pudding.
When I miss him too much, you know what I tell myself to feel better?
"At least he can't hurt me anymore." That's not love, that's fear. That's my being burnt so badly, I am shy to do anything at all new regarding my matrimonials.
Lat week, I went to visit relatives. The topic about men came up, my cousin asked if I've been looking. I just said that I am still recovering from the first time. My cousin thought it was unreal and hilarious that I am 27 and had such a ridiculous story to tell i.e. not having enough confidence to meet him. And I've moved from where I was at the time I was living it, so that I can heartedly laugh at my imbecility. But it was real at the time.
Her mum mentioned a boy from India who has reverted and therefore is not Khoja although his mum was (she died) and is finding it difficult to find someone because of the revert issue. My empathic tendencies rose and I felt "well, I have to give him a chance" but immediately after, I said to myself " No, you're still so burnt. You need to take care of yourself, love yourself, be yourself. Learn what independence and freedom really is. And get over the fiasco of the first time."
Of course, I have been tempted to contact Imran, as part of my old pattern. But there is no crazy compulsion like all the previous times. And I am immensely grateful to God for that. I can harmlessly internet creep him all I like: FB, LinkedIn (I think he got a promotion since he changed his work title) and Skype - yes, so tantalisingly close to his sexy voice - yet so far.
I know it seems that when I blog, all I seem to be doing is focussing on him, or on the fact that I don't have the significant person in my life yet.
Well, I don't have a job, so can't keep yammering on about the lack thereof.
A lot else is happening within me, but I don't want to talk about it here. It's my personal journey and I choose not to share it with anyone at the moment. I choose to be mysterious and secretive.
To be honest, I don't even know how to talk about it. Not a lot seems to be happening the way I would like it to or do it, had I any control over it. I'm basing my entire trust in the fact that something must be happening.
Maybe I talk about him so much because he's a figment of imagination and he is effectively now part of the past. So it is now safe to talk of him. No longer relevant. *shrugs* Maybe something will click and I'll learn the lessons and make the decisions.
One thing: I'm having major issues with all of my soul mates. I'm so bloody glad I only have a few and not as many as some other people. I thought it was crummy to have so few significant people in my life, to not be surrounded by love and friendship in a physical way.
Now I have a feeling my Higher Self knew full damned well what it was doing.
Each of my encounters has the bloody intensity the equivalent of 20 for others.
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