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Worth a shot

Affirmation

This year I will be the person I want to be. 
I will make a difference in this world by my positive attitude. 
I will be committed to my own self and my own self and spiritual development. 
I will honour my word and speak my truth.


My Sacred Energy
“There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.” 
~ Deepak Chopra

Even pupae need love and friendship and a kind word.
That is all I have to say. 
Our relationship is not as equals at all. 
Not like yours with her. 
I know it's my own thoughts and feelings in the way.
I'm the one making myself feel like this.

Even pupae need love and friendship and a kind word.

In the meantime, I guess I'll have to make do with feeling envious, jealous, and becoming a perfectly formed, but bitter, chrysalis-butterfly.

With only four people who love her. Two of whom I know and appreciate. And the other two unknowns obviously not in my life. And obviously not my parents. Otherwise I would feel that love.

I'm the one who tied myself up in a strait jacket. But they didn't help me. They only helped me bind myself in my own mess by providing the ropes, chains and belts.

I can't escape from their voices. When will I escape all their voices?

When will I get 90% of my own energy with me all the time?

Why does no one help me when I need it the most?

Why do I always have to go it alone?

Always...

And I operate from fear.

The moment he steps in the door, I'm the abused, feral kitten who slumps into her tiny corner, defeated.

I'm so defeated, I'm washing his dishes and ironing his shirts. I even cooked at 7:30am on Tuesday.

And, I've created this life. And, still, I can't find my way out.


O Supporter of those who have no support; 
O Means of those who have no strength; 
O Refuge of those who have no refuge; 
O Helper of those who have no helper. 
O Thou full of loving and kindness; 
O nearest Friend. 
Liberate me from the choking fetters, 
Remove from me all sorrow, suffering and grief, 
Protect me from the evil that I am unable to bear, 
and help me in that which I am unable to do.

Choking fetters. That's what they are.
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