Your Type Four EnneaThought for February 16th—
A major feature of your personality is that you become easily infatuated with others, having relationships mainly in your imagination. Notice this tendency in yourself today. (Personality Types, 151)
It was only just a dream... wakey wakey, sunshine!
You have you whole life in front of you... free yourself from your self-imposed shackles. You were trying to tie yourself up in convention and matrimony. It's not for you at the moment. Do what needs to be done.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
Anais Nin
And yet...
"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I."
~ Michel de Montagne
Except he was never all of the man I imagined him to be, and not only was I not all how he imagined me to be, but I was not the girl I imagined myself to be.
The Soul Mate
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit
and that's what everyone wants.
But a true soul mate is a mirror,
The person who shows you everything that is holding you back,
The person who brings to you to your own attention
so you can change your life
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet
Because they tear down your walls and smack you awake
A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up,
tear apart your ego a little bit,
show you your obstacles and addictions,
break your heart open so new light can get in,
make you so out of control,
that you want to transform your life.
~ Elizabeth Gilbert
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit
and that's what everyone wants.
But a true soul mate is a mirror,
The person who shows you everything that is holding you back,
The person who brings to you to your own attention
so you can change your life
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet
Because they tear down your walls and smack you awake
A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up,
tear apart your ego a little bit,
show you your obstacles and addictions,
break your heart open so new light can get in,
make you so out of control,
that you want to transform your life.
~ Elizabeth Gilbert
Random Google search: Soulmates are as mixed up and weird as you are.
LMAO.
Pretty amazing, actually. He was definitely a soul mate, and he had to do all this, in order to kick my butt and push me to assert myself to be... the person who I am going to be.
- The person who is unconditionally loving and lovable and forgiving and forgivable.
- The person who is at peace with and who loves herself so much, that just being in her presence is enough for anyone else to love her.
- The person who is truly living her life the way she wants to: earning her abundance, having fun, making friends, going to courses and retreats, healing herself and others, following the spiritual pathway, and her own life path...
- And the person who will have a long line of smitten men-boys begging her to pick them.... muhahahaha! ;)
Facebook, the English (Pirate) version, is quite insightful today:
Ye be a lonely cap'n just now. Bahahaha! *shakes head*
Okay, I wasn't going to, but this is too good not to post up:
~~~
By Skye Thomas
How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. It doesn't happen like that.
You can open your heart and mind to finding a beautiful loving relationship, but chances are that using the word soul mate will almost jinx you from finding it. Why?
For many of us, when we think of a soulmate, we think of someone perfect. Someone who is gorgeous, brilliant, funny, naturally happy and kind. We think of someone who wants exactly the same things out of life that we want. We picture a meeting right out of the movies where both parties meet on the street and instantly fall madly head over heels in love.
We think that there will never be any conflict beyond a quaint debate over what colors to paint the baby's nursery. We imagine lovemaking that is so phenomenally perfect the first time that one cries from the sheer artistic beauty and telepathic oneness.
All problems and challenges in our lives will suddenly melt away into faint memories because our soul mate has arrived and their presence alone is so cosmic and amazing that all else pales in comparison.
Yeah, and if I say my affirmations with enough conviction, gold coins are going to start growing instead of dandelions in my yard too!
Wake up! If you're dreaming of that kind of a soul mate, then you need to rent some good movies and call it good. Love doesn't go like that and you know better.
Look at it this way.... You are the other half of that equation. Let's be serious. If you are someone's soul mate, and they find you. Are you capable of being that incredibly flawless and perfect for them? No of course not. Nor are they.
Soul mates are as mixed up and weird as you are. They may have the same flaws as you do or completely different ones. If you are holding out for that fantasy, then you are playing a psychological game with yourself. You have created an impossible dream to hide behind so that you don't have to really risk falling in love with a real live human being, warts and all.
Yes, I do believe that there are extremely rare cases where one 'feels' or 'knows' there is a certain person they are meant to find and they are haunted by the need to find that one person. They are doomed to hunt for that needle in a hay stack. But let's get serious, that isn't the norm.
We have all heard so much about soul mates that we just think it would be really cool. Well it's not. It sucks to spend a lifetime passing up real love with real people because somewhere out there is this voice calling your name. You doubt your sanity and spend most of your life lonely and searching. Don't do it. Find real love with real people.
Change your definition of soul mate. Call to yourself someone who is open and real. Call to yourself someone who is genuine and capable of love on a real everyday level in a real everyday world where people get up and go to work and pay bills.
Call to yourself someone who knows how to show and express their love without manipulation and head games. Call forth a forever kind of love. Call forth a best friend that you can sit with in your rocking chair on the front porch when you're too old to make love anymore.
Call someone who loves you enough to kick you in the butt when you're screwing up. Call forth someone who will shout from the rooftop when you are deserving of praise too. Call forth someone who is a loyal and faithful lover willing to learn and grow with you behind closed doors.
Leave the rest to fate. Don't define them. Don't imagine the look of their face or the color of their eyes. Don't predetermine anything else about them. Let them be exactly who they are and you be who you are. Then work on making yourself into the same type of person that I just described so that you'll be worthy of them when they show up.
When you go through your ceremonies, affirmations, and prayers for your soul mate, ask the heavens to help you to be open minded and to not judge what that person is supposed to be. Ask for a feeling of their essence so that you'll recognize it when you see them for real. How does it feel to be with them?
If you had a perfect ideal partner, you wouldn't be able to relax and be yourself because they were not of the same energy as you. Raise your own self to be your best and ask for a partner that matches your level of development so that you can grow together. You don't want to have a partner who is in every way superior to you because they're perfect and you're only human do you?
Unless you can lighten up your definition of what a soulmate is, then you really shouldn't use the term. It will only bring you loneliness and heartache if you insist on waiting for perfection. The best advice I can give you if you want an amazing forever kind of love is to be healthy, happy, and independent.
Quit worrying about when love will find you and get busy with living your life. Keep your heart open and your eyes open for the possible love of a lifetime, but don't obsess over it.
What is meant to be will be whether you call it to you or not. Call for help being a beautiful soul. Trust that the rest will fall into place in it's own perfect time.
~~~
Are the two of you soul mates? By understanding what soul mates truly are you can live a happier more fulfilling life.
Defining the soul mate relationship as opposed to any other kind of relationship is not so hard once you understand what soul mates are all about. So few people really know how to go about doing this, but it’s not as difficult as it seems.
I had a client not too long ago tell me that she had been with a man for a long time and that she was positive she was totally in love with him—and not lust love—and that she didn’t know how to tell if he was her soul mate and if he felt the same. She wanted to know how she could tell, which is one of the more common questions I hear.
“I’m in love, but is it the real thing?”
The real thing. Just what is the real thing and how can you tell?
First of all, if you are in love with someone, he/she is your soul mate, but just as there are varying degrees of love, there are varying kinds of soul mates. It sounded to me like in this woman’s case, it was the companion soul mate to whom she was referring.
All companion soul mates, unless they choose not to for various reasons, involve intimacy on different levels. The other two kinds of soul mates—karmic soul mates and twin souls—rarely involve sexual relations. Hard to believe, but it’s true.
As with all companion soul mates, these people come into your life for a particular reason. Is it for marriage? Is it to produce offspring?
Only you can determine that as the relationship gets further along, but one thing is for sure: he or she is meant to be a part of your life. No two soul mates come together without a purpose. That is how you can differentiate acquaintances you meet in your daily life from people with whom you share a soul mate bond.
If you are in love, you are in love. You feel it, it makes you happy and fulfilled and you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. A natural thing to happen to two people who are soul mates.
However, if further down the road, the two soul mates should part because of differences, that soul mate was still meant to come into your life.
When two people come together as soul mates, there is a purpose for them to do so; but when that purpose has been realized as well as finalized, the two may part but that is not because they weren’t meant to be a part of each other’s lives.
It is because their mission together on earth has been accomplished.
When this happens, the two begin to feel as if they are drifting apart and they have no idea what is going on. Their inner self is trying to tell them that there are other soul mates out there that they need in their life in order to be complete.
Yes, it may be sad for one or even both partners, but this is the nature of things, especially if you are just starting out in life.
You need to go through necessary steps in order to be complete and it may take one, or it may take several, soul mates to help you with this, but every last one of them that come into your life are important, and necessary.
My advice is to: live, love, learn. Live to your highest expectations, love like there is no tomorrow and learn what each soul mate that enters into your life is meant to teach you about life, about yourself, and about why the two of you were brought together in the first place.
Once we learn to do this, we are that much closer to finding our higher self and on the road toward a productive and happy life.
Are the two of you soul mates? By understanding what soul mates truly are you can live a happier more fulfilling life.
Soul Mates...Or Not?
By Dorothy Thompson
By Dorothy Thompson
Defining the soul mate relationship as opposed to any other kind of relationship is not so hard once you understand what soul mates are all about. So few people really know how to go about doing this, but it’s not as difficult as it seems.
I had a client not too long ago tell me that she had been with a man for a long time and that she was positive she was totally in love with him—and not lust love—and that she didn’t know how to tell if he was her soul mate and if he felt the same. She wanted to know how she could tell, which is one of the more common questions I hear.
“I’m in love, but is it the real thing?”
The real thing. Just what is the real thing and how can you tell?
First of all, if you are in love with someone, he/she is your soul mate, but just as there are varying degrees of love, there are varying kinds of soul mates. It sounded to me like in this woman’s case, it was the companion soul mate to whom she was referring.
All companion soul mates, unless they choose not to for various reasons, involve intimacy on different levels. The other two kinds of soul mates—karmic soul mates and twin souls—rarely involve sexual relations. Hard to believe, but it’s true.
As with all companion soul mates, these people come into your life for a particular reason. Is it for marriage? Is it to produce offspring?
Only you can determine that as the relationship gets further along, but one thing is for sure: he or she is meant to be a part of your life. No two soul mates come together without a purpose. That is how you can differentiate acquaintances you meet in your daily life from people with whom you share a soul mate bond.
If you are in love, you are in love. You feel it, it makes you happy and fulfilled and you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. A natural thing to happen to two people who are soul mates.
However, if further down the road, the two soul mates should part because of differences, that soul mate was still meant to come into your life.
When two people come together as soul mates, there is a purpose for them to do so; but when that purpose has been realized as well as finalized, the two may part but that is not because they weren’t meant to be a part of each other’s lives.
It is because their mission together on earth has been accomplished.
When this happens, the two begin to feel as if they are drifting apart and they have no idea what is going on. Their inner self is trying to tell them that there are other soul mates out there that they need in their life in order to be complete.
Yes, it may be sad for one or even both partners, but this is the nature of things, especially if you are just starting out in life.
You need to go through necessary steps in order to be complete and it may take one, or it may take several, soul mates to help you with this, but every last one of them that come into your life are important, and necessary.
My advice is to: live, love, learn. Live to your highest expectations, love like there is no tomorrow and learn what each soul mate that enters into your life is meant to teach you about life, about yourself, and about why the two of you were brought together in the first place.
Once we learn to do this, we are that much closer to finding our higher self and on the road toward a productive and happy life.
~~~
~~~
How to foster spiritual relationships. It's not all peaches and creams. It's about trusting and allowing each other to be who you truly are.
Have you spent years looking for Mr. Right, or Ms. Right? Do you feel like you come up empty each time, or even worse- end up repeating an old pattern with the same type of person again and again?
It’s an uncomfortable reality for so many of us as we look to be in a relationship with someone. Our requirements may be unconsciously stemming from old emotional patterns within our psyche. Those patterns may have been formulated in early childhood, during puberty, or even from our 'first love'.
Each time we grow into a new relationship, we hope that we have learned enough from the sum of our previous experiences to say that we are prepared to reap the harvest of our true partner. Unfortunately, if unfinished business still resides within your mind and heart, it will eventually surface in the new relationship.
Recently one of my clients came to me with this same trouble. She had recently found a wonderful new relationship, or shall we say it found her. Everything was going so well, they were getting to know each other and really felt committed to each other. Then, it happened. She started getting angry. She had a sharp edge to her voice and was quick tempered with people. It was like she had her ‘claws out’. She was so happy - what could be wrong?
Well, she was happy. She was so happy in fact, that she was feeling safer than she had in years. That’s a good thing, right? Of course it is.
It means that the safety made her feel comfortable enough to let down the walls around her heart and the old heart wounds were starting to pour out - all over the place.
She was safe enough to allow herself to be vulnerable. In that vulnerability she had given herself permission to let go of the old pain, hoping to make way for the new love her heart was beginning to feel for her partner. It was a wonderful step forward!
What happened next? When we talked about her anger and we made the connection that she was protecting some very old pain and wounding, she began to drop the anger and connected to the sadness. She went through a period of grieving and during that time, was able to talk with her partner about the old wounding.
It actually resulted in bringing them closer together. They had crossed a threshold in their relationship, taking it to a new spiritual level. Now, they both feel as if they are headed toward a true partnership.
How did they get this far? They trusted each other. They also trusted in themselves enough to know that the old wounding was in fact something very old. They are able to bear witness to the pain as it was being released, and it made the bond between them stronger, knowing they could unite in the face of grief and pain.
It opened the door into their hearts a little wider because they were healing consciously.
What steps do we take to find a true partner?
We start with our self. Until we can be a true partner to our own feelings, we do not know how to be a partner to someone else.
If we are not willing to face our own vulnerability and our past wounds, how can we face them in another?
True partnership is not all champagne and roses. It’s not stories about soft fuzzy bunnies and breakfast in bed every morning.
True partnership is about being there for another person during their high times and even their low times. It is about being real with your self and with the other person.
We all have emotional patterns, some leftover baggage and none of us wake up out of bed with perfect hair and makeup. We are human beings living human experiences.
Finding someone who will be a true partner to you in that reality means facing that same reality in yourself first. In other words, be a true partner to your self in order to be a true partner to another. Then you will be open to allow that partnership to find you.
Spiritual Relationships: Finding Your True Partner
By Jodie Foster
By Jodie Foster
Have you spent years looking for Mr. Right, or Ms. Right? Do you feel like you come up empty each time, or even worse- end up repeating an old pattern with the same type of person again and again?
It’s an uncomfortable reality for so many of us as we look to be in a relationship with someone. Our requirements may be unconsciously stemming from old emotional patterns within our psyche. Those patterns may have been formulated in early childhood, during puberty, or even from our 'first love'.
Each time we grow into a new relationship, we hope that we have learned enough from the sum of our previous experiences to say that we are prepared to reap the harvest of our true partner. Unfortunately, if unfinished business still resides within your mind and heart, it will eventually surface in the new relationship.
Recently one of my clients came to me with this same trouble. She had recently found a wonderful new relationship, or shall we say it found her. Everything was going so well, they were getting to know each other and really felt committed to each other. Then, it happened. She started getting angry. She had a sharp edge to her voice and was quick tempered with people. It was like she had her ‘claws out’. She was so happy - what could be wrong?
Well, she was happy. She was so happy in fact, that she was feeling safer than she had in years. That’s a good thing, right? Of course it is.
It means that the safety made her feel comfortable enough to let down the walls around her heart and the old heart wounds were starting to pour out - all over the place.
She was safe enough to allow herself to be vulnerable. In that vulnerability she had given herself permission to let go of the old pain, hoping to make way for the new love her heart was beginning to feel for her partner. It was a wonderful step forward!
What happened next? When we talked about her anger and we made the connection that she was protecting some very old pain and wounding, she began to drop the anger and connected to the sadness. She went through a period of grieving and during that time, was able to talk with her partner about the old wounding.
It actually resulted in bringing them closer together. They had crossed a threshold in their relationship, taking it to a new spiritual level. Now, they both feel as if they are headed toward a true partnership.
How did they get this far? They trusted each other. They also trusted in themselves enough to know that the old wounding was in fact something very old. They are able to bear witness to the pain as it was being released, and it made the bond between them stronger, knowing they could unite in the face of grief and pain.
It opened the door into their hearts a little wider because they were healing consciously.
What steps do we take to find a true partner?
We start with our self. Until we can be a true partner to our own feelings, we do not know how to be a partner to someone else.
If we are not willing to face our own vulnerability and our past wounds, how can we face them in another?
True partnership is not all champagne and roses. It’s not stories about soft fuzzy bunnies and breakfast in bed every morning.
True partnership is about being there for another person during their high times and even their low times. It is about being real with your self and with the other person.
We all have emotional patterns, some leftover baggage and none of us wake up out of bed with perfect hair and makeup. We are human beings living human experiences.
Finding someone who will be a true partner to you in that reality means facing that same reality in yourself first. In other words, be a true partner to your self in order to be a true partner to another. Then you will be open to allow that partnership to find you.
~~~
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