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Know that the world needs you...

And when you're expressing your highest self, you will ... something, something.....

http://store.debbieford.com/index.php?cPath=14_20#meditations

I've just finished listening to the one about Unmasking Self Sabotage.

I don't want to journal it: just want to share it with my peeps. That's you lot :)

Fear of the unknown. Attaching myself to the depression. Shaking off parts of myself in order to "please" people, mainly Imran, but also my good friends.

Clingy behaviour.

Desperation for love.

Allowing my hatred for my father explode and so harming my own physical safety and security.

Being stubborn and not yielding...

Falling in love....and then finally getting up the cojones to tell the object of my desire that I desire him. And never stopped since he sent me the duck photo.... *big grin*

Ahhh..... therefore making him run far, far away.......... again.

It can't work. It can't. Can it?

Now off to the corner shop to get me another chocolate fix. Them Euroshopper bars are to die for. Will also get Cadbury's Fudge: reminds me of my nani.

I should actually be reciting Dua Arafat: either the Imam Hussain one or the Imam Zainul Abedeen one. But they're sooo long!

Should I go for Eid Namaz tomorrow at 10am? I think I really should. Take the 118 bus. Yay. Good stuff.

If I was crazy enough, I'd wake so early, make the 8:00am shift so that I could accidentally-on-purpose meet Imran. Wonder when it'll happen.....

Did I mention that he's an Adonis? His friend posted some photos of him from that Afghani wedding they went to three weeks ago.

O.M.G.

He said he wasn't photogenic. Liar! He just needed someone with a decent camera and good photography skills.

O.M.F.G.

My eyes literally popped out of their sockets when I saw the photos. He doesn't like smiling. I'll teach him how to - lol!

Vimal who?

That is how good looking he is.

A.D.O.N.I.S.

And I just went and..... *whoopah* (dominatrix reasserts her presence in my psyche!)

I'm still not sure if I want to post the email I sent to him here. I did, but then I took it off.

It's too much of a breach of privacy: both his and mine. He laughed at how I told him I cared for him in spite of his atrocious grammar! hahahaha! :D

Allah, please let this work. Otherwise, I shall have acted like such an idiot!
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