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One thing I'll never understand...

... is why I thought it was OK to forsake his privacy and mine. I knew I was asking for help and advice. One person, two - maximum five. But every single ruddy person I have spoken to the past seven weeks, KNOWS his name and the gist of things.

I hope he never finds out. It would be extremely hard to forgive. He'd probably do it, but not realise that I thought of it as my stuff, not his. Because I'm self absorbed like that. And I trust all of the people I told.

Doesn't matter. Game over.

I don't measure up to Mother Dearest! God, I wonder if I'll have the guts to tell him about his mother complex... lol. I thought it was only Paki-men, but apparently Khoja (or so adamant they aren't Khoja-like, but are) men are also prey to it. Not that I blame him. His mother seems like a really nice mother. And she's all any of the kids have had for 10+ years.

God, I still, somehow, want to know about his family life. How sad am I? VERY.

Sukaina, you've really, really changed.

I think I've just had enough. I'm just saying: sod it to the whole lot of them. If I'm getting rid of the eczema, I must be comfy being me.

Me.

Me.

Work on my relationship with myself. Then look to others.

I now think I shall be able to find my Travis. Just not now. Never now. And he will be a gora/biracial god! ;) Well, they say ask the Universe and thou shalt receive!

Must think up of a surname - for the numerology, you understand! :)
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