trying to link two levels of unconsciousness

I said the insanity has lifted, but that is not correct. rather, my awareness has decreased and the veils are over my heart again. I did feel the being, it was pain. and now it is gone. but lamenting the Now causes suffering, i realised today so I forgive the now and the fact that my unconsciousness is as it is. Criticizing and stuff causes more pain. i choose not to cause any more pain for myself now, nor pain for others. but how do i explain stuff?

the things that were lucid to me two weeks ago and i thought others would understand are now incomprehensible to me because of WORDS and now i know how crazy I sound to other people. i don't want to make the future a problem.but i do want to know whether i am following my heart's truth and destiny as co-created with spirit to do transpersonal counselling course. way in future if at all. i am not my job. it is secondary. i am more than my personality.

I am always Divinely protected and guided.

Not minding anything.

I managed to transmute a horrible headache and jaw pain though by shifting further into the pain. So that works.

Lamenting about the loss won't bring it back, God always gives you what you need. How do you know that? because you are experiencing it NOW.

damn the aha moment has gone. OK, I am still at peace now.

The ego is not personal, though. Collective consciousness.

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