Not minding anything

The downward mood has lifted. the real horror and reality is now muted a bit. i know i have to look for work and i know that it is scary when these mood disorder phases come upon me without warning. oh Allah how am i to maintain the connection with you and express gratitude and meditate through prayer when i keep succumbing to my ego mind and pain body and the thoughts?

But i am grateful. even when I am not, make me grateful.

let me consolidate and truly be aware with all this new knowledge. let me take the truths and the best and sidestep the misguidedness such as communicating with angel michael and stuff like that. let me become more intuitive. and grateful and aware.

being a muslim doesn't harm me neither does it take me away from spirituality that i "seek". remember that oh Soul.

Oh Allah you provide for all, provide for the cats and and for our servants and for the people near the graveyard and for all the people who are in my life and increase my pure love and the Reiki let it work.

provide for me certitude after this whole up and down. oh god just looking at these words makes me want to puke because they will seem so empty another time.

I know you love me and are increasing my awareness as much as i need. let me be good to my mother. and increase our rizq and more importantly our certitude. ALL OF US. let me heal.let me love.

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Isle of Skye

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