I honestly have no words. This is possibly when art therapy would work for my expression. Whatever peaceful and calm place I was in a week ago, I've left it and I'm as confused. Tired too and complaining in my heart about my buying track bottoms and a tee shirt that are too tight from a market. This is obviously not where i want to be. So why am I here? Why am I saying I need this confusion? All my thoughts and words have been entirely rubbishy and although sincere and earnest, I'm embarrassed by them. I want to vault to being a silent witness. Silent. And just witnessing. And autonomous and self sufficient, too. From within.
Your Type Four EnneaThought for January 13th— Reflect on your childhood today. As a child, did you believe you were not like your parents? Did you feel that you were not "seen" by your parents and that you did not connect sufficiently with your parents? As an adult, what does this have to do with you now? (The Wisdom of the Enneagram, 182) As I've said myriad times before, these things just slap me in the face with a wet fish most days. I suppose it makes sense that I should send Reiki healing to my relationships with my father and my mother. Haven't really done that for ages. It's too hard sometimes, I choose to ignore and avoid dealing with them mainly because these are the two people I've been connected with since birth. A lot of effort is required in order to 'let things slide'. Living with my dad is hell, and I'm co-creating it on purpose, as part of my desire to annoy, to hurt him the way he hurts me. My mum, well, I guess we'...
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