Futurethink

Futurethinking has bummed me out.

Live in the present and reclaim your joy.

I might make pasta and tuna for lunch right now. The electric has just come back and won't go for another 5 hours. So what if I don't have the finances to go to London for a holiday this year. So bloody what? If you keep overthinking the joy you may or mayn't experience elsewhere, you just cut into the joy that is present. It will all go into the past anyway and then there's all the excess baggage of what I could have done but didn't.

For example: I could have had an amazing time while i was in London. for I was there for 8 months. And if you check to the beginnings of the blog, you know full well that my being in London was as hopeless as my being here now.

because of me, of the fact that I have been completely blocked from all forms of true spirituality.

even going to Birmingham will be useless unless I'm developing certain aspects of myself. I can't live on my own, that much is true. So I've got to wait till my mum is ready to come with me or i find Travis, get married and then live together with him. Or I could live with a friend.

Lekin abhi koi faida nahin hai to think about then and then and when.

I do yoga to build up strength for tae kwon do which starts next week. i may be dreading it now, but I will face it calmly and my instructor will be good and i will enjoy it. And if i don't, i stop going. it was worth a shot.

being cut off from my Higher Self sucks because I just do loads of guesswork.

'Making an informed decision and making a wise one are two separate things" - I love that perspective. Also the fact that your parents aren't looking for your highest benefit, only your Higher Self is.

o when my parents keep moaning about the recession and lack of funds and higher expenses - it's because they think i expect to snatch away their energy resources. hell, no. i will create my own. I am creating my own right now. In expected and unexpected ways.

And i will go to Birmingham when it is the right place and time. It's just not now.

I never expected in my wildest dreams to stay in Toronto; i didn't even want to. and where did i end up? the Best possible college for Sukaina with the best possible teachers for Sukaina with the best possible environment for Sukaina - whether I liked it or not.

Sukaina spent those 4 years blind, deaf and dumb no doubt - but certain things opened up, and closed down Sukaina had the breakdown which was necessary NOW and not later on or before. And now Sukaina is slowly opening her eyes, listening and hearing and speaking her truth. At least, she hopes it is so and not yet another blind alley and cul-de-sac and illusion.

Sukaina will give and receive what is best and it will happen.

Don't let the load shedding and heat get to you. Hota hai.