How does someone go from having no options or ambition to having to choose between two or even three things to do and wanting to do them all and knowing that’s impossible in the material, quantum realms and only possible in the virtual realm and you are so damned, damned far away from doing that! (Read “How to know God” by Deepak Chopra then you’ll totally get what I’m saying!)
I want to take the entire course at Minster Centre, because the focus on transpersonal, humanistic and integrative counselling and operate two clinics, one specifically for refugees and one for sufferers of domestic abuse. I’m sure I don’t need to sell you further on that one, right?
But I also want to take a structurally similar but materially different course at the CCPD (Centre for Counselling and Professional Development) because it focuses on Sufism and spirituality in therapy and dream interpretation and alchemy of relationships and life crises and - omg - it’s like it was created for me.
Both are in Central London and both lead up to an MA from an accredited UK university. Both cost a BOMB! An average of 2,000 – 4,000 a year, depending on the level. And take anywhere from 4-6 years to complete because it is part time, mostly once a week. You have to pay for your own compulsory weekly therapy which is considered only if taking during the course. Previous therapy does not count. That’s another 20-30 a week.
I could take them simultaneously, that would definitely cut down on therapy costs and I’d be writing the same thing for both courses most times, but it’s SO not practical in the material and quantum realm. :-( I’d need to work very, very hard in order to pay for this education. So where would I have the time for what’s basically a full time course and work and myself and life and……?
And then of course we have the Al- Mahdi course, I begin to see why my dad wants me to do a secular course before delving into Islam. But I want it all, NOW. And Sheikh Arif is the main drawing point, otherwise I am sure they have at least one similar course in London.
That’s why I used to hold no ambition or expectation. When you do, or when I do, I want it all at once because I always feel I won’t live very long in order to do it all. Fear of Death when trying to rebirth. And then I have to choose, and reality sets in such as finances and my own emotional stability regarding being homesick and leaving mum and cats and friends and living with dad and having to live among Londoners with their hoity toity ways and my own low of self-esteem whereby I can’t look people in the eye and have to walk o the other side of the street to avoid any human contact… And so much more…and it becomes this hot pot of turbulence and confusion and mist and just not seeing the clear path and then I just want to… screeeeeeeeeeeeeeam.
Se calmer, se calmer. I am safe and trust in the universe that everything comes to me in the right place and at the right time. I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this time. I shall move forth in the direction most befitting, because I have Divine guidance that pushes me towards the right way.
“Don’t worry, be happy. Now in life, you’re gonna have trubbel, but when you worry, you maaaake it dubbal, don’t worry. Be happy.” Bob Marley
BTW, I absolutely hate the word “don’t”. It makes me feel all bound up with steel wires and caged in a tiny rabbit hutch. I use it a lot and to all sorts of people.
Scat.
I want to take the entire course at Minster Centre, because the focus on transpersonal, humanistic and integrative counselling and operate two clinics, one specifically for refugees and one for sufferers of domestic abuse. I’m sure I don’t need to sell you further on that one, right?
But I also want to take a structurally similar but materially different course at the CCPD (Centre for Counselling and Professional Development) because it focuses on Sufism and spirituality in therapy and dream interpretation and alchemy of relationships and life crises and - omg - it’s like it was created for me.
Both are in Central London and both lead up to an MA from an accredited UK university. Both cost a BOMB! An average of 2,000 – 4,000 a year, depending on the level. And take anywhere from 4-6 years to complete because it is part time, mostly once a week. You have to pay for your own compulsory weekly therapy which is considered only if taking during the course. Previous therapy does not count. That’s another 20-30 a week.
I could take them simultaneously, that would definitely cut down on therapy costs and I’d be writing the same thing for both courses most times, but it’s SO not practical in the material and quantum realm. :-( I’d need to work very, very hard in order to pay for this education. So where would I have the time for what’s basically a full time course and work and myself and life and……?
And then of course we have the Al- Mahdi course, I begin to see why my dad wants me to do a secular course before delving into Islam. But I want it all, NOW. And Sheikh Arif is the main drawing point, otherwise I am sure they have at least one similar course in London.
That’s why I used to hold no ambition or expectation. When you do, or when I do, I want it all at once because I always feel I won’t live very long in order to do it all. Fear of Death when trying to rebirth. And then I have to choose, and reality sets in such as finances and my own emotional stability regarding being homesick and leaving mum and cats and friends and living with dad and having to live among Londoners with their hoity toity ways and my own low of self-esteem whereby I can’t look people in the eye and have to walk o the other side of the street to avoid any human contact… And so much more…and it becomes this hot pot of turbulence and confusion and mist and just not seeing the clear path and then I just want to… screeeeeeeeeeeeeeam.
Se calmer, se calmer. I am safe and trust in the universe that everything comes to me in the right place and at the right time. I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this time. I shall move forth in the direction most befitting, because I have Divine guidance that pushes me towards the right way.
“Don’t worry, be happy. Now in life, you’re gonna have trubbel, but when you worry, you maaaake it dubbal, don’t worry. Be happy.” Bob Marley
BTW, I absolutely hate the word “don’t”. It makes me feel all bound up with steel wires and caged in a tiny rabbit hutch. I use it a lot and to all sorts of people.
Scat.
Comments