There’s so much I have to accomplish to nurture my soul and be-come. The question is, with the two years of mine gone away like a butterfly’s life, will I be able to do it all? I’d like to be optimistic and say yes, but I realise that there are many things which wouldn’t be priority and can be relegated or set aside in the hopes I can achieve them as part of a reward from the most high on a another plane.
So many things, so little time.
So then, is applying for a copy editing post the way to go for me? I fit the bill, it will PAY the bills. I shall see if I get an offer and then do the soul searching, I think. Being a book cataloguer at Paramount Books, well I’m not even qualified for it. And doing office work with business letters, NO. What a waste of my genius. Aha ha ha. But I think I should still apply because I do need the money, if nothing else, then to pay back my mum for at least some of the expense.
Today was a bad day Reiki wise, no meditations, no healing done. A good day on the material front, I got a nice fitting pair of shoes (very expensive for me at Rs. 2400, CDN $50 the most I’ve spent on something regular priced. But, this time, it’s actually my size and it’s for formal wear. I’ll take a pic and then post it, so you see why I wanted them so much. But this is the thing: when I’m depressed, the good thing is I don’t want things except permission to kill myself. And now, when my energies are trying to find their balance, I’m spending and lusting for things and it’s atrocious and now I know I am a girl. :-(
I’d like to just Be as Pooh and the Tao tell me I should, but I feel like I am missing out on a lot. I’ve lost two years of my life, I only pray that they be added on at the end and I have the vitality and confidence to do whatever it is that pleases Him. Amen.
I wonder if I’d ever be able to make this blog public. If I delete all the boy stuff, perhaps. And change all names. Obviously.
So many things, so little time.
So then, is applying for a copy editing post the way to go for me? I fit the bill, it will PAY the bills. I shall see if I get an offer and then do the soul searching, I think. Being a book cataloguer at Paramount Books, well I’m not even qualified for it. And doing office work with business letters, NO. What a waste of my genius. Aha ha ha. But I think I should still apply because I do need the money, if nothing else, then to pay back my mum for at least some of the expense.
Today was a bad day Reiki wise, no meditations, no healing done. A good day on the material front, I got a nice fitting pair of shoes (very expensive for me at Rs. 2400, CDN $50 the most I’ve spent on something regular priced. But, this time, it’s actually my size and it’s for formal wear. I’ll take a pic and then post it, so you see why I wanted them so much. But this is the thing: when I’m depressed, the good thing is I don’t want things except permission to kill myself. And now, when my energies are trying to find their balance, I’m spending and lusting for things and it’s atrocious and now I know I am a girl. :-(
I’d like to just Be as Pooh and the Tao tell me I should, but I feel like I am missing out on a lot. I’ve lost two years of my life, I only pray that they be added on at the end and I have the vitality and confidence to do whatever it is that pleases Him. Amen.
I wonder if I’d ever be able to make this blog public. If I delete all the boy stuff, perhaps. And change all names. Obviously.
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