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I Forgive Myself

I Forgive Myself

As I forgive myself, I leave all negative beliefs behind,
I know I am good enough and am free to love myself.

Having said this, I will now try to sleep peacefully and not over-analyze what tomorrow will bring. This lady, whom I resent and have all manner of negative feelings towards, is to arrive at our house tomorrow at 10 am - I haven't a clue when she will leave.

This is not only freaking me out because of the repetition of a ritual that began yonks ago, but already the disagreements and arguments between the two old spinsters have begun. They are so jealous.

As am I, but of other people and situations. Flipping jealousy. It's going to eat up my Soul. What is left - after the bitterness, and resentment, and the envy and pure hatred? What the hell is left? What is left of one's Soul to enjoy proximity to Him? Forget 'the ever-lasting springs and pearl-like boys and grapes and pomegranates.' That's just a means to an end. Frigging REMEMBER that.

Anyway, this lady has no power over me whatsoever.
I claim my power for myself.
(a minute after meditating on the affirmation)

OK, the anxiety is still riding up. I'm going to have to do some yoga right now, after all, I don't see myself going to sleep any time soon. I've stopped the sleeping pills (trazodone) from Tuesday and only bought another 14 pack of Prozac today because I suddenly got this gut feeling that I should learn from my St John's Wort fiasco in 2007 and not stop medication until it's been supervised. No matter how much I detest it and no matter how much of my money (well, of course it's my mum's) is just draining away in medicines that are prescribed for a condition I don't even have and now I may be addicted to. Or not. Or suffer withdrawal. Bloody NHS, I tell you. The OHIP health care system is so good. Quebec is probably not so good, but then...

argh. Flitting keys moment.

One last affirmation

I turn every Experience into an Opportunity
Each problem has a solution. All experiences are opportunities for me to learn and grow.
I AM SAFE
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