I've been working on that damned Rubik's cube for two weeks now (okay, well more or less an hour in total of that two weeks) and nothing. Apparently the world record for solving one of those tarts is 10 seconds. I wouldn't mind spending 10 minutes, as long as I knew I was getting somewhere. Stupid INFPishness.
And Umair finally wrote today and it was a letdown. As in, I really didn't give a CRAP. Stupid INFPish behaviour again. So, Mahira Hafeez Khan is now going to turn up on Aag TV, Imad Ansari is on PTV, Zohaib Zuby is married and everyone else is either studying, working or doing both.
The stupid Pakistani government finally succeeded - they've taken my lovely Youtube off. As if I frigging give a damn about movie trailers or cartoons. Is this a frigging democracy? No. I need to get back to a a sane environment.
I've got a frigging cold, I've just been eating bread and biscuits for the past four days because I can't be bothered to make any food myself and I'm not a big fan of eating beef every day (almost). I feel like shit.
I am sick and tired of having people read my blog because it's all the same shit, all the same insecurities and low self-esteem and there's no end to it. I don't want to leave the house because, as usual, there is nothing to do. I was wrong about one thing: if you are depressed, it does matter where you are. A little.
The good news is that I can get a ready supply of as many non-prescription drugs as I want over here and probably do what I had intended to all along. I still remember my date of suicide.
I'm using the following as an excuse:
1. DESIRED OBJECTIVES OR BEHAVIOR DICTATED BY DESIRED OBJECTIVES. Unwilling to participate and wishes to avoid all forms of stimulation. Has had to put up with too much of a tiring or exhausting nature and now desires protection and noninvolvement
2. THE EXISTING SITUATION OR BEHAVIOR APPROPRIATE TO THE EXISTING SITUATION. Seeks to share a bond of understanding intimacy in an esthetic atmosphere of peace and tenderness.
3. CHARACTERISTICS UNDER RESTRAINT OR BEHAVIOR INAPPROPRIATE TO THE EXISTING SITUATION. Clings to his belief that his hopes and ideals are realistic, but needs encouragement and reassurance. Applies very exacting standards to his choice of a partner and wants guarantees against loss or disappointment. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
4. REJECTED OR SUPPRESSED CHARACTERISTICS OR ANXIETY-LADEN CHARACTERISTICS. Distress and agitation resulting from the attempt to avoid any form of stimulation or excitement. Regard his environment as hostile and is under great pressure. Irritable or angry outbursts, with the possibility of sexual neuroses (crap) or cardiac complaints. Distressed by the apparent hostility of the environment. Feels coerced and subjected to intolerable pressure. Is rebellious and resentful of what he regards as unreasonable demands on him, but feels powerless to control the situation and unable to protect himself. Helpless rebelliousness.
5. THE ACTUAL PROBLEM OR BEHAVIOR RESULTING FROM STRESS. Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on his resources. A feeling of powerlessness subjects him to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which he tries to escape by refusing further direct participation. He confines himself to a cautious approach and a concealed determination to get his own way in the end. Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on his resources. The feeling of powerlessness subjects him to agitation and acute distress. He attempts to escape from this into an illusory substitute world in which things are more nearly as he desires them to be.
1. GRAY 2. BLUE 3. BLACK 4. BROWN 5. YELLOW 6. VIOLET 7. GREEN 8. RED
1. GRAY 2. VIOLET 3. BLUE 4. BROWN 5. BLACK 6. YELLOW 7. GREEN 8. RED
Sexual neuroses, huh? I can totally believe it. No wonder I have severe TMJ syndrome, which is killing me. I miss my chiropractor. She's the only reason I would consider moving back to Toronto. Well, her and Payless Shoesource.
I'm going to eat the neighbour's engagement cake now. It had better be good. At least it's chocolate. But it might have nuts. Shall I eat it anyway and then puke all my guts out?
God knows what kind of shit one goes through in order to turn bulimic. Anorexia is still easier to pull off. Your teeth don't dissolve. Just your bones. Or does that happen in both? Probably, because you aren't getting any vital nutrients, calcium and zinc for example.
And Umair finally wrote today and it was a letdown. As in, I really didn't give a CRAP. Stupid INFPish behaviour again. So, Mahira Hafeez Khan is now going to turn up on Aag TV, Imad Ansari is on PTV, Zohaib Zuby is married and everyone else is either studying, working or doing both.
The stupid Pakistani government finally succeeded - they've taken my lovely Youtube off. As if I frigging give a damn about movie trailers or cartoons. Is this a frigging democracy? No. I need to get back to a a sane environment.
I've got a frigging cold, I've just been eating bread and biscuits for the past four days because I can't be bothered to make any food myself and I'm not a big fan of eating beef every day (almost). I feel like shit.
I am sick and tired of having people read my blog because it's all the same shit, all the same insecurities and low self-esteem and there's no end to it. I don't want to leave the house because, as usual, there is nothing to do. I was wrong about one thing: if you are depressed, it does matter where you are. A little.
The good news is that I can get a ready supply of as many non-prescription drugs as I want over here and probably do what I had intended to all along. I still remember my date of suicide.
I'm using the following as an excuse:
1. DESIRED OBJECTIVES OR BEHAVIOR DICTATED BY DESIRED OBJECTIVES. Unwilling to participate and wishes to avoid all forms of stimulation. Has had to put up with too much of a tiring or exhausting nature and now desires protection and noninvolvement
2. THE EXISTING SITUATION OR BEHAVIOR APPROPRIATE TO THE EXISTING SITUATION. Seeks to share a bond of understanding intimacy in an esthetic atmosphere of peace and tenderness.
3. CHARACTERISTICS UNDER RESTRAINT OR BEHAVIOR INAPPROPRIATE TO THE EXISTING SITUATION. Clings to his belief that his hopes and ideals are realistic, but needs encouragement and reassurance. Applies very exacting standards to his choice of a partner and wants guarantees against loss or disappointment. Able to achieve satisfaction from sexual activity.
4. REJECTED OR SUPPRESSED CHARACTERISTICS OR ANXIETY-LADEN CHARACTERISTICS. Distress and agitation resulting from the attempt to avoid any form of stimulation or excitement. Regard his environment as hostile and is under great pressure. Irritable or angry outbursts, with the possibility of sexual neuroses (crap) or cardiac complaints. Distressed by the apparent hostility of the environment. Feels coerced and subjected to intolerable pressure. Is rebellious and resentful of what he regards as unreasonable demands on him, but feels powerless to control the situation and unable to protect himself. Helpless rebelliousness.
5. THE ACTUAL PROBLEM OR BEHAVIOR RESULTING FROM STRESS. Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on his resources. A feeling of powerlessness subjects him to agitation, irritation and acute distress from which he tries to escape by refusing further direct participation. He confines himself to a cautious approach and a concealed determination to get his own way in the end. Depleted vitality has created an intolerance for any further stimulation, or demands on his resources. The feeling of powerlessness subjects him to agitation and acute distress. He attempts to escape from this into an illusory substitute world in which things are more nearly as he desires them to be.
1. GRAY 2. BLUE 3. BLACK 4. BROWN 5. YELLOW 6. VIOLET 7. GREEN 8. RED
1. GRAY 2. VIOLET 3. BLUE 4. BROWN 5. BLACK 6. YELLOW 7. GREEN 8. RED
Sexual neuroses, huh? I can totally believe it. No wonder I have severe TMJ syndrome, which is killing me. I miss my chiropractor. She's the only reason I would consider moving back to Toronto. Well, her and Payless Shoesource.
I'm going to eat the neighbour's engagement cake now. It had better be good. At least it's chocolate. But it might have nuts. Shall I eat it anyway and then puke all my guts out?
God knows what kind of shit one goes through in order to turn bulimic. Anorexia is still easier to pull off. Your teeth don't dissolve. Just your bones. Or does that happen in both? Probably, because you aren't getting any vital nutrients, calcium and zinc for example.