A day of epiphanies followed by a day of regressing again to the original state.
Exactly 20 days left in Angleterre. Shame, bloody shame. I have to gather up all my stuff and dump them once again into suitcases and I am absolutely pathetic at packing.
I was trying to remember all my classmates throughout my schooling and, although my memory still serves me, I forget either their surnames or their names, but know their faces. It would be so cool to attend one of those reunion things - just to see what everyone ended up being. Such a nice way to conduct an MBTI testing orgy :)
I don't like the way this country is turning into somewhere as far removed from Medieval England or even England from the 70s. They now want to put metal detectors in schools. How American is that? As horrendously Guardian-ish as this sounds, I keep on thinking 'What the hell is this country turning into?' There are just too many changes taking place all the time. I still don't know where to put my feet.
When trying to tell my counsellor what I would like to do as a career, it narrowed down as vaguely as 'to help people. Children. Poverty.' But that's as far as I would go. I couldn't bear to think about going to the Volunteer Services Bureau or to CARE or Oxfam or anything like that.
This makes me wonder why on Earth do I want to be an activist but only as long as I can remain safely on my couch. I mean, as far as my efforts to save the world go, here is the list:
1) Buying a MAKE POVERTY HISTORY wristband for $2.
2) Buying 5 postcards related to poverty and the environment, basic civil society organisations.
3) Volunteered at Oxfam for a month or so and then just didn't show up because of 'personal issues'.
That's basically all I can think of. It's pitiful. I don't think that it's all bad to realise that you don't have an inclination to get out there and make a difference with those who can't do it all by themselves. However, I do think it pitiful to have these magnanimous, grandiose ideas of what I can do and what should be done and how it could all be done so easily and yet I remain in the same room day in day out.
Stop being such a bloody hypocrite.
This is what has precipitated your depression, anyway. Yes, I have decided that the amount of sin I have accumulated has resulted in this debilitating episode of depression. Why? Because I have, by rationalisation, reduced all my sins as insignificant and that 'God will understand'.
And so I have twisted my heart into a corroded little rusted thing and probably will suffer from metal poisoning in my blood.
Exactly 20 days left in Angleterre. Shame, bloody shame. I have to gather up all my stuff and dump them once again into suitcases and I am absolutely pathetic at packing.
I was trying to remember all my classmates throughout my schooling and, although my memory still serves me, I forget either their surnames or their names, but know their faces. It would be so cool to attend one of those reunion things - just to see what everyone ended up being. Such a nice way to conduct an MBTI testing orgy :)
I don't like the way this country is turning into somewhere as far removed from Medieval England or even England from the 70s. They now want to put metal detectors in schools. How American is that? As horrendously Guardian-ish as this sounds, I keep on thinking 'What the hell is this country turning into?' There are just too many changes taking place all the time. I still don't know where to put my feet.
When trying to tell my counsellor what I would like to do as a career, it narrowed down as vaguely as 'to help people. Children. Poverty.' But that's as far as I would go. I couldn't bear to think about going to the Volunteer Services Bureau or to CARE or Oxfam or anything like that.
This makes me wonder why on Earth do I want to be an activist but only as long as I can remain safely on my couch. I mean, as far as my efforts to save the world go, here is the list:
1) Buying a MAKE POVERTY HISTORY wristband for $2.
2) Buying 5 postcards related to poverty and the environment, basic civil society organisations.
3) Volunteered at Oxfam for a month or so and then just didn't show up because of 'personal issues'.
That's basically all I can think of. It's pitiful. I don't think that it's all bad to realise that you don't have an inclination to get out there and make a difference with those who can't do it all by themselves. However, I do think it pitiful to have these magnanimous, grandiose ideas of what I can do and what should be done and how it could all be done so easily and yet I remain in the same room day in day out.
Stop being such a bloody hypocrite.
This is what has precipitated your depression, anyway. Yes, I have decided that the amount of sin I have accumulated has resulted in this debilitating episode of depression. Why? Because I have, by rationalisation, reduced all my sins as insignificant and that 'God will understand'.
And so I have twisted my heart into a corroded little rusted thing and probably will suffer from metal poisoning in my blood.