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No title, again

I'll start with the latest dream I had this morning. I had decided to imagine where I'd be and what I'd do if I was travelling. I end up dreaming about being in Lahore, in a halter-top and mini skirt with my group from Iran - girls and boys. I had another dream two weeks ago, whereby I was on a group trip similar to the Iran trip. Except we were somehow at Jinnah's tomb and in chadors. And, of all people, I dream of Sheikh being there. Utter retarded stuff. I mean, at least dream of Zuby or Faiz or someone I actually knew or liked. Retarded dreams: I am not getting any insights from them. It's just the pathetic past coming in my consciousness and I have no idea why.

Well, at least I'll be getting my DVDs very soon.

I thought I'd think about times when I was truly, genuinely happy and not depressed. Excited about something. Without fucking SSRIs messing up my system. Well, if not that, then the circumstances whereby I felt some genuine emotion. First was my crush on Raza in grade 5, and it was solely based on looks. How sycophantic is that? And when we had that fair, I think it was the science fair or SAARC fair or whatever. And I had the sudden realisation that not only was I loser, but because of my shyness, religion and culture I would never even have a chance with him in Hell. And I just burst and cried. I cried and cried. And cried.

Anyway, it just occurred to me to write a list about what things I want to do before I die. I was watching Crash and Burn.

This in random order, to be put in priority later on.

1. Learn ASL or BSL
2. Live in Wales and Scotland.
3. Travel to Ireland and New Zealand.
4. Find my soul mate. He's out there :)
5. Trust him and then fall unconditionally in love with him.
6. Speak in good French to a native speaker.
7. Meet Darren Hayes and Richard Armitage (to be changed as per need)
8. Cook for my parents.
9. Plant flowers.
10. Know what it feels to be contented and happy for a very long time.
11. Give more to people, take less from them.
12. Fall in love with God.
13. Look forward to dying not because you hate living here but because you've done something to look forward to over there.

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