I was thinking about Sam in the morning. He went into film-making. His parents let him do whatever he wanted to do. And he's damn happy about it. His sister told me that he wanted to make cowboy films. Whatever. Right now, he's working for a Toronto-based production company. And living his dream. When I censured him last year, of course it was just the mores of society and whatever. I think I was envious, subconsciously. It is, after all, a glamorous-sounding profession. I think the best thing is that each of the kids are free to do whatever they really want. Kay will work for Amnesty, HRW or the UN. She's going to be done with her MA next June. Four hours younger than I am. Oh, this was supposed to be a positive entry.
I am glad that some people are going to realise their ambitions; that they don't really care what their families think of them. Or rather, their families are intelligent enough not to keep them in a stranglehold of their own ideals and dreams. I mean, Fay got to go into counselling - she really is qualified for that type of work. Sami got into chartered accounting because she likes it. Her sister is a teacher. Abb is in business because he's good at it; I mean, it's not as though his dad actually forced him into it. God forbid, they can't even get the bloke to string a proper sentence together! Aaliya did anthropology and is in HR; Abz is going to do maths and the list goes on.
You see, they aren't naive either. They've known that they can be whatever they want and also had an idea what that would be. I had to rely on my father to decide my degree for me. What a loser. I'm stuck in my head and can't see the trees for the forest. Thing is, I can no longer see the forest anymore.
The weather outside is grey. Solid, light grey cloud. No blue sky. Yet, the birds still sing.
The colour grey, according to http://www.colour-affects.co.uk/psyprop.html
Positive: Psychological neutrality.
Negative: Lack of confidence, dampness, depression, hibernation, lack of energy.
Pure grey is the only colour that has no direct psychological properties. It is, however, quite suppressive. A virtual absence of colour is depressing and when the world turns grey we are instinctively conditioned to draw in and prepare for hibernation. Unless the precise tone is right, grey has a dampening effect on other colours used with it. Heavy use of grey usually indicates a lack of confidence and fear of exposure.
No wonder I like it so much.
The thing with M is sorted out, thank God. I ended up doing what I wanted to do (as usual). So I confronted him, because I realised that Sarah was telling me what to do according to her perspective and experience with guys. Well, I don't respect them and don't take any shit from them. So there. Even though he thinks I'm bonkers, at least it's got sorted out and life can continue. I have become stronger. And I won't stop listening to love songs. That's got nothing to do with it.
I hate being human, though. Wish I was just a soul, with no body and no needs. Except the need to meet my Lord. I sure am doing a lot in that direction.
I have been taught to fit myself in a iron-cast straitjacket and it is suffocating me more now than ever before. I think I have broken myself out of most of it, but the pupa is soft and glistening and will take time to become hard. All this is probably shite, and five years from now I will most certainly cringe at the person I think I am right now.
The shortest wavelength is violet, often described as purple. It takes awareness to a higher level of thought, even into the realms of spiritual values. It is highly introvertive and encourages deep contemplation, or meditation. It has associations with royalty and usually communicates the finest possible quality. Being the last visible wavelength before the ultra-violet ray, it has associations with time and space and the cosmos.
I am glad that some people are going to realise their ambitions; that they don't really care what their families think of them. Or rather, their families are intelligent enough not to keep them in a stranglehold of their own ideals and dreams. I mean, Fay got to go into counselling - she really is qualified for that type of work. Sami got into chartered accounting because she likes it. Her sister is a teacher. Abb is in business because he's good at it; I mean, it's not as though his dad actually forced him into it. God forbid, they can't even get the bloke to string a proper sentence together! Aaliya did anthropology and is in HR; Abz is going to do maths and the list goes on.
You see, they aren't naive either. They've known that they can be whatever they want and also had an idea what that would be. I had to rely on my father to decide my degree for me. What a loser. I'm stuck in my head and can't see the trees for the forest. Thing is, I can no longer see the forest anymore.
The weather outside is grey. Solid, light grey cloud. No blue sky. Yet, the birds still sing.
The colour grey, according to http://www.colour-affects.co.uk/psyprop.html
GREY
Positive: Psychological neutrality.
Negative: Lack of confidence, dampness, depression, hibernation, lack of energy.
Pure grey is the only colour that has no direct psychological properties. It is, however, quite suppressive. A virtual absence of colour is depressing and when the world turns grey we are instinctively conditioned to draw in and prepare for hibernation. Unless the precise tone is right, grey has a dampening effect on other colours used with it. Heavy use of grey usually indicates a lack of confidence and fear of exposure.
No wonder I like it so much.
The thing with M is sorted out, thank God. I ended up doing what I wanted to do (as usual). So I confronted him, because I realised that Sarah was telling me what to do according to her perspective and experience with guys. Well, I don't respect them and don't take any shit from them. So there. Even though he thinks I'm bonkers, at least it's got sorted out and life can continue. I have become stronger. And I won't stop listening to love songs. That's got nothing to do with it.
I hate being human, though. Wish I was just a soul, with no body and no needs. Except the need to meet my Lord. I sure am doing a lot in that direction.
I have been taught to fit myself in a iron-cast straitjacket and it is suffocating me more now than ever before. I think I have broken myself out of most of it, but the pupa is soft and glistening and will take time to become hard. All this is probably shite, and five years from now I will most certainly cringe at the person I think I am right now.
VIOLET
Spiritual.
Positive: Spiritual awareness, containment, vision, luxury, authenticity, truth, quality
Negative: Introversion, decadence, suppression, inferiority.
The shortest wavelength is violet, often described as purple. It takes awareness to a higher level of thought, even into the realms of spiritual values. It is highly introvertive and encourages deep contemplation, or meditation. It has associations with royalty and usually communicates the finest possible quality. Being the last visible wavelength before the ultra-violet ray, it has associations with time and space and the cosmos.
Excessive use of purple can bring about too much introspection and the wrong tone of it communicates something cheap and nasty, faster than any other colour.
That explains why it's always been my favourite colour. Ali - well, it's surprising but then again, I don't know much about her.
I really want to draw a mandala but can't seem to make myself meditate for 15 minutes beforehand. Also, I've stopped concentrating on reading again. Sword in the Stone is still here. It took me ages to read the Robin Wood chapter, and it's really not that boring.
OK, I am proud of myself for the extraverting today. I didn't write a lot about myself today. Hope the trend continues.
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