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I'm not really spouse material

So today is my second day on the website Shiamatch.com and after searching my own "categories", I've found a guy who actually sounds really decent. Unfortunately, he is looking for a polite, respectful girl who is not a feminist. SHAME....if only I were another person. Well, too late for that.

Maybe I can think of someone for him. He's 27. I should look for S. My point is I really am just not a wife material. I'd probably make an okay husband. Can I afford to have a sex change in Iran? God knows. Shite. Can't believe that, if I don't have guts to kill myself or if I don't die according to God's will soon, I shall have to lead a long life of loneliness, without anyone to love and to be loved by because I don't love myself, my Lord and my parents. Damn.

Went to Wimbledon with F and had a good time (better than moping at home and looking for the paracetamol). She started to get impatient when I was looking for DVDs. Which pissed me off. I'm just going to go shopping by myself - which kind of means I won't be buying any boots or sweaters. Christ.

Don't think I'm going to last here very long. Here on earth.....why am I so mixed up? All I want to to do right now is let out a stream of swear words. Maybe I have been defence mechanisming...the one where you...overcompensating what I am and do the complete opposite. So thinking that people who swear are blah blah when I swear just as much and hold certain opinions.

Am I always just going to be so mixed up?

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